How to show up to your health goals
I am fascinated by what makes some people set goals, show up and achieve them while others set goals, think about them and then make excuses and often blame external factors about why they haven’t.I conducted an interesting research project in 2019 where I interviewed gym trainers on this topic. You may think this is quite far away from the business world and may possibly associate trainers with aesthetics and body building only. But stop and think about the character traits they need in order to be successful:
But even more interesting to me was the relationship with a trainer is quite unique. You don’t have to impress them, you can be yourself, they don’t expect you to be perfect, and they are there purely for your best interest and success. But what trainers have privy to are the best excuses in the world. They have heard it all and their job is to figure out how to tap into your values and goals in order to bring out the best in you. If you do tend to struggle with your personal goals, especially exercise and healthy eating, here are some of the amazing insights on how to help you beat the excuses and show up to yourself:1. SOLIDIFY YOUR DECISIONSo you make the decision to get healthy – you sign up to the gym, maybe even book a trainer. This is a great start but the way to continue with the habit is to solidify your decision every day. It has to be a daily commitment because ‘Your decision from last week or two weeks ago flutters away’. Your trainer is a guide and can take you so far but you need to commit to show up every day, get enough sleep and eat the right food to ensure the exercise will yield the benefits and results you signed up to in the first place.So what can you do to solidify the decision?Think about how badly you want it. Why you want it and use that as motivation for when things get tough because at the end of the day, they will get tough. When you persevere and you see the rewards, it’s easy to stay motivated but it’s in that in between phase of starting a goal and seeing results – I call it trusting the process. Turning down the volume of the negative self-talk of the inner critic who plays the game of comparing your current reality against the ‘should be’ version of reality. It goes like this ‘you should be further by now, you should see a difference’…and it wreaks havoc on your confidence. Your why has to be big enough to remind you of your decision when its 6am and cold and all you want to do is hit snooze and stay in bed for another 20 minutes.2. MOVE FROM A PHYSICAL GOAL TO AN IDENTITY GOALThis is so important. A lot of people use particular milestones as a motivation to get into better shape and look after themselves. For example – a wedding or a school reunion. But the problem is that you are working towards a date and often when the big day comes and goes, so does your habit. You figure, well I’ve done it so I can go back to normal, I’ve earned it. But when you make it part of who you are, it becomes lifestyle. So the shift is as simple as ‘I am a healthy person, I value vitality and longevity, I value having more energy to play with my kids, I value being able to perform at my highest level’. When you shift to identity based goals, your choices become easier. Healthy people go for walks, healthy people get more sleep, and healthy people do some movement at some point in the day. Every time you do the action – go for the walk, Pilates, yoga, opt for the grilled option – you are creating evidence for yourself that you are that person. Your story has changed and the way you show up to yourself has changed as well.3. HIT RESET EVERYDAYIt’s literally hitting reset every day. It doesn’t matter what you did yesterday, it’s done. Every day you have to renew your commitment to your decision of who you want to become’. The way to continue the momentum is to remember that your success is created one micro decision at a time. The decision to get up on time, the decision to go for the walk, the decision to go for the healthy breakfast instead of coffee and a croissant on the road. Remind yourself, your success is built one choice at a time so in a tough situation, choose the healthier choice for a tough situation. Just because you got it right yesterday, it doesn’t exempt you from today. Hit reset!4. MAKE IT FAMILIAR - MANAGE YOUR SELF-TALKMarisa Peer is a psychologist and author who speaks about the rules of the mind. She says your mind likes what is familiar and dislikes what is not familiar. This is the reason why most people who win the lottery default back to their original financial state within a few years. This concept of making things familiar is a powerful tool when trying to establish a healthy habit. For example, during the December holidays, I got used to sleeping later than my normal 4:30 wake up time. When I got back in January and had to resume back to the time, I simply told myself ‘I am making waking up early again familiar’. Instead of ‘Oh, this is terrible, what an awful time to wake up’. Let’s be honest, it’s not easy but it makes a huge difference to my state and mood when I phrase it more positively. Also making something familiar means it will become my normal and you know what – the body adapts pretty quickly. Equally, when you start your new routine, it is going to be unfamiliar. Muscles you never knew you had will make themselves known. In the beginning, it will take some getting used to but make the self-talk about creating the familiar. The worst thing you can do is make the self-talk about self-pity and being a victim. ‘I can’t believe I’m depriving myself of my favourite wine Vs I am making drinking water familiar’. It is these subtle differences in your internal dialogue which will make the process enjoyable and rewarding rather than a perceived punishment.5. FEELINGS ARE NOT FACTThis was my favourite quote - ‘Feelings are not fact. It’s what you do that counts. If you feel hungry, if you feel tired, those aren’t fact. It’s what you do that counts. Just do the next right thing. Just keep making the right decisions, one at a time.’ I can tell you with confidence that the biggest lie you tell yourself and believe is that you need to wait to feel like doing the activity in question. Most of the time, you will never feel like it until you are doing it. You need your why and internal motivation to push you off the couch and out of the bed. Most of the time, people relinquish on their personal goals because they are waiting for this magic burst of energy and inspiration to appear. The only time you are going to feel like it – guess what – is when you are doing it! Runners don’t get runners block – they get up and go for a run.6. WHAT IF YOU FALL OFF THE WAGON?‘If people fall off the wagon, make sure the next choice is better’. It’s as a simple as that. Don’t quit and give up and toss the entire day. It will have such a huge impact on your confidence for the day, it literally dents your self-esteem because you know you let yourself down. So if you do give in – and we are all human and it will happen. Forgive yourself and just make sure the next choice is a better one. True self confidence is directly proportional to the promises you keep to yourself. Honour yourself, show up and celebrate yourself.Here’s to showing up to yourself one choice at a time,Warm wishesLori |