Show up to your transformation

I am constantly fascinated with what separates people who show up to themselves and create lasting change versus people who have a ‘someday’ mentality which is comprised of excuses and blame.It is one thing to talk about transformation but another when someone has walked the journey and stayed consistent. Warren Krige is a thought leader in the health and wellness industry and has an amazing story to share. He lost 23kg in 12 weeks and went on to win the USN competition and became their brand ambassador which he has maintained for 3 years now. It is not a story about weight loss and dieting but sheer determination, self-belief and personal growth. It is about the mental hurdles that need to be tackled first to lay the foundation for success.If you are in a place of feeling stuck and frustrated because you have tried everything and still can’t shift, then keep reading. In this blog, I will share key steps Warren used to attain mental mastery in order to move forward on his transformation goal and how you can too: Overcome the fear factorThe starting point for any new goal you want to tackle is the decision to change. It is a conscious choice that something is not working and you need to be prepared to own that. Once you are open to a new way of being and doing, you are on your way. I asked Warren what was his first step was once he made that decision to change.His answer surprised me - overcome fear.“I think a lot of people have experienced this where especially with diets or trying to break a habit where you have tried something in the past, you might not have been fully committed but you failed so many times that you start associating that part of your life as something that you are just not going to beat. The starting point that I needed to overcome was just that mental hurdle – this time it is going to be different, and I am able to actually do it’.The way to power through the fear is to change your perspective about fear. It is a sign you are growing and discomfort is a natural part of the process. Our bodies are hard wired for protection but there are no more saber tooth tigers. We like the known even if it not good for us. Remind yourself – if you want to shift then you need to be prepared to let go of old thoughts, beliefs and behaviours that are sabotaging you. Most of the time we are stuck in a pattern we can’t see and repeat over and over. Fear is the compass to change and get used to a new way of being. Celebrate micro winsWarren attributes his initial success to celebrating what he calls micro victories. I use the term micro wins. A micro win is when you break down your goal into its tiniest components. Think of a Lego house being stripped down to each individual Lego block.  For example, on day 3 of no drinking, he celebrated this and didn’t put it down to luck. He celebrated his early success and before he knew it, it was one week down and then a month of no drinking.There is a more powerful reason to celebrate your wins along the journey and this is relevant to any goal you are pursuing in life or business. When you celebrate the small wins, you are affirming to yourself that you are becoming this new person and this new way of being. If you only celebrate it once you have achieved the big goal – the promotion or weight loss goal – it is difficult to internalise you have become that person. This is why imposter syndrome exists – there is a sense I am a fake, everyone will find out who I really am. A lot of people who lose weight still see themselves as an overweight person inside even though the mirror shows something different.Celebrate the win and own who you are becoming.Go beyond your comfort zoneWarren attributes his success to pushing himself beyond his comfort zone. ‘If there are two choices that are in front of me I must just stubbornly choose the most difficult choice. Because there I am going to gain ground and I don’t always have to quite understand why, I don’t have to overthink it. I just have to make the most difficult choice because I know it’s out of my comfort zone, and that generally pushes me forward to my next breakthrough, and I call that little process…I just got to thunder through it.” For example, if he has 2 more minutes on the treadmill, he doesn’t give up but tells himself ‘Just thunder through it’. I love this and personally have brought it into my life. One more sales call to make- just thunder through it. One more email to send – just thunder through it! That last set for your workout – just thunder through it! What’s your why?Warren shared that the driving force that kept him going on the tough days and reinforced his decision to persevere was his why. He realised the change is not only better for himself but the people around him – his wife and kids. That’s a pretty powerful why!It has become a buzz word popularised by Simon Sinek but there is great power in it. If you don’t have the why top of mind when doubt creeps in or you fall off the wagon one day, it’s easy to give up. Your ‘Why’ is a place to direct your focus and keep you on track. Change your identity.In his book, Atomic Habits, James Clear tells us that true behaviour change is identity change. You may start something because of motivation but the way to make it is a habit is when it becomes part of your identity. Anyone can eat healthy once or twice, go to the gym once or twice but if you don’t change the belief behind the behaviour, it is hard to reinforce long term change.You need to decide to become a healthy person and then each behaviour serves as evidence to reinforce it. If you want to become a writer, every time you spend time writing (even 20 minutes), you embrace the identity of a writer. Chase Jarvis has a quote ‘You need to do the verb to become the noun’.Warren said the decision to change his identity was the starting point for his success.  ‘People don’t understand that they are not the person they see in front of the mirror. I told myself – you don’t have to be that guy with the beer belly. The power came when I realised I don’t have to be like this....’The same is true for you. You can create the person you want to be simply by one choice. Then making a conscious decision how to choose to show up each day. It’s how you show up to yourself and keep the promises to yourself that will enable this new identity to emerge. It’s not one overnight success but small micro decisions throughout the day that stack up in the direction you want to go. Confidence is directly proportional to the promises you keep for yourself – if you intend to wake up to walk, then make sure you don’t hit snooze or you spend the rest of the day in self-loathing because you never kept your agreement with yourself.It is critical not only to change your self-talk to embrace your new identity but in your physical body and how you show up non-verbally. Warren says he can see how a person feels about themselves simply by how they carry themselves. ‘They carry it in their posture, they carry it in the way they talk about themselves’.Transformation is not only about doing the right things in terms of the exercise and nutrition, but more importantly about the internal shift and truly embracing who you can choose to become.Prepare. Prepare. Prepare.“If we do not create and control our environment, our environment creates and controls us’ – Dr Marshall Goldsmith.If you want to make a significant change, you need to prepare for it and that means being the architect of your environment. Whatever the task or activity you choose to do for yourself in that time slot must be thought out in advance. For example, if you want to exercise, have your clothes and shoes laid out for you. If you want to study something, have the link ready on your computer or the book next to your bed with no distractions. If you want to journal, have your book and pen waiting for you. At that time of the morning, you need to be one step ahead or else that time will disappear quickly. What about when you’re having a bad day?I asked Warren how he manages those days when he just doesn’t feel like it or he’s really stressed.“I just switch off and I do the right thing for 2 or 3 minutes and then the problem generally just goes away”. Too often, we renege on our commitments because we have this idea that we should feel like doing it. That burst of inspiration or creativity isn’t magically going to show up – once you are doing the task in question, then you get into it and feel like doing it. Have you ever noticed there is no such thing as ‘Runners Block’? They just simply get on the road and run.Warren is a true inspiration and helps countless people to achieve their dreams. Life is not about discovering yourself but creating yourself and you can make the choice in a minute to decide who you want to be and how you want to show up but the key ingredient – take action. One micro win at a time…you can do it! Here’s to designing your ideal life and showing up to yourself one micro win at a time,Warm wishesLori