I do and then?
For some women, getting married is about the white dress, flowers and cake. But what about the next day, the next week, the lifetime together?Owner of Mobi Warehouse, a leading provider of prepaid airtime to corporate employees, Lori Milner was excited about her wedding day in April 2009. But after tying the know, she realised there was a lot more to consider than unwrapping the presents and putting the photo album together. Lori wasn't the first and she won't be the last woman to wake up with that post-wedding, champagne-induced throb in her head, wandering what the heck to do now.She felt there was a gap that needed to be filled when it came to acknowledging, recognising and dealing with the ever-changing role, lifestyle and challenges of the modern wife.A successful and ambitious career woman and entrepreneur, Johannesburg-based Lori believes women can have it all - career and family - but not without putting in the work. For those of us raised in homes with strong female role models, the next step may be obvious - but it's not the case for everyone.We pay a lot of lip service to gender equality. The term "have it all" is often flung around the room during a good gender debate. But surely someone pays the price? No one has their cake and the chance to eat it as well. Someone has to get the short end of the stick. Yes, women can reach the top rung of the corporate ladder but changing nappies simultaneously is tricky. And should a mother hire help to assist with the children, she runs the risk of missing out on crucial moments in their development. So where's the fairness in that? This is just one of the topics that Lori covers in her Beyond the Dress workshops, which she describes as a toolkit of marriage and life skills based on her personal experience.While it is about being a great partner, it also focuses on maintaining yourself and your identity in your relationship. So what's the answer? Lori still maintains that you can have it all but the terms and conditions change as you renegotiate your priorities. And often, it's an individualistic approach.Whether you choose to work from home or have flexible hours, the scenario needs to work for you. For a woman to pursue her career and raise her children you need to be able to juggle or at least have a side-kick to catch the occasional dropped ball.In the world we live in today, a strong familial support structure and hands-on husband and dad can help. Achieving success in all realms of one's life does not have to be a one-woman crusade.So did her life change dramatically when she went from Ms to Mrs? No. But Lori conceded that married life is more of a balancing act. It requires better time management and the sharing of responsibilities between a couple. And what about the traditional husband and wife roles? Lori's workshops have no intention of turning you into a 1950's wife but it does open up the debate for domestic dynamics.The modern wife no longer pitches her tent in front of the oven but for some, cooking and feeding might fulfill their nurturing side. Lori's workshops have already proved to be popular with audiences and include sessions with industry experts.Lori acknowledges that life is hectic and says give yourself some me time. Take a morning out and try one of her empowering sessions. For more information, visit www.beyondthedress.co.zaSource:New Age newspaperJournalist: Carly RitzDate: 5 September 2011