When Your Strength Becomes Your Blind Spot.

Why the qualities that made you successful may not be the ones that take you where you're going next.

One of the greatest myths about personal growth is that our biggest obstacles are our weaknesses.

I'm no longer convinced that's true.

More often than not, our greatest obstacles are our greatest strengths.

Not because the strengths are wrong.

Because we stop questioning them.

Recently, I wrote about how an Oura Ring helped me realise that my discipline had become so trusted that I no longer questioned it.

For years, discipline had served me.

It helped me build a business.

Write books.

Keep promises to myself.

Recover from surgery.

Show up when motivation disappeared.

It was one of the qualities I valued most about myself.

Until I realised something uncomfortable.

The very strength that had carried me through so many seasons was also making it harder to hear what I needed in this one.

That is the paradox of strengths.

They become so familiar that we stop noticing when they've become overused.

Every Strength Has a Shadow

Confidence can become certainty.

Responsibility can become control.

Generosity can become self-neglect.

Curiosity can become overthinking.

Perseverance can become stubbornness.

Empathy can become emotional exhaustion.

Discipline can become rigidity.

None of these qualities are problems.

Until they become our default response to every situation.

Because life changes.

Seasons change.

The strengths that served us brilliantly in one chapter can quietly limit us in the next.

We Rarely Outgrow Our Strengths

We usually overuse them.

This is something I see repeatedly in executive coaching.

The leader who built their career by always having the answers struggles to become the leader who asks better questions.

The high performer who became indispensable finds delegation almost impossible.

The people pleaser who built strong relationships discovers they have no boundaries left.

The perfectionist who built an exceptional reputation starts delaying decisions because nothing ever feels ready.

Their strengths haven't disappeared.

They've simply become over-relied upon.

That's a very different problem.

Because the solution isn't to remove the strength.

It's to develop discernment around when to use it.

The Hidden Comfort of Competence

There's another reason we cling to our strengths.

They make us feel competent.

Safe.

Certain.

When we rely on the qualities we've always relied on, we know who we are.

But growth has a way of asking us to become beginners again.

To develop muscles we haven't needed before.

For me, recovery demanded something discipline had never asked of me.

Patience.

Receiving help.

Rest.

Trust.

Listening.

Those didn't feel like strengths.

They felt uncomfortable.

Which probably meant they were exactly what I needed.

The Question I Ask Clients

When someone tells me,

"I'm just someone who always..."

I become curious.

I'm just someone who always says yes.

I'm just someone who always pushes through.

I'm just someone who always figures it out.

I'm just someone who always stays strong.

Notice the language.

Those aren't behaviours anymore.

They've become identity.

And identity is powerful.

Because once something becomes part of who we believe we are, we stop evaluating whether it still serves us.

We simply repeat it.

What Got You Here...

There's a well-known leadership idea that says,

What got you here won't get you there.

I think there's an even more nuanced version.

What got you here may still get you there.

Just not at the same volume.

Your discipline still matters.

Your ambition still matters.

Your empathy still matters.

Your attention to detail still matters.

The invitation isn't to abandon them.

It's to know when to soften them.

When to balance them.

When to let another quality lead.

That's what discernment looks like.

A Better Question

Perhaps instead of asking,

"What are my strengths?"

We should ask,

"Which of my strengths am I overusing?"

Where has confidence become certainty?

Where has responsibility become control?

Where has resilience become emotional suppression?

Where has discipline become rigidity?

Where has independence stopped me from asking for help?

Those questions require honesty.

But they also create freedom.

Because they remind us that we are not trapped by our patterns.

We can choose differently.

Growth Looks Different Now

When we're younger, growth often means becoming more.

Learning more.

Doing more.

Achieving more.

Proving more.

But eventually, another kind of growth arrives.

The kind that asks us to become more flexible.

More discerning.

More willing to question the very qualities that once defined us.

Not because they were wrong.

Because we've outgrown needing them to lead every situation.

The goal isn't to become a different person.

It's to become a more integrated one.

One who knows that every strength has a place.

But no strength should have the final say.

Because perhaps the next version of you won't be defined by what you're capable of doing.

Perhaps it will be defined by your wisdom in knowing when to do it.

Here's to discernment,

Warm wishes,

Lori