Where Your Brand Leaks: An Enneagram Lens.
Last week, I wrote about the gap between the reputation we want and the experience people actually have of us. Perhaps you recognised a standard you want to hold more consistently.
Knowing the standard is one thing. Holding it when you feel pressure to please, perform, prepare or keep the peace is another.
This is why I find the Enneagram so helpful.
If you are new to it, the Enneagram describes nine personality patterns. Each has its own underlying motivations and familiar ways of thinking, feeling and behaving. Its value is in helping you notice a pattern you might otherwise mistake for simply being “the way I am.” Once you can see it in real time, you have more choice about what you do next.
These patterns often give us real strengths. Yet when we rely on a strength automatically, we can create an experience for others that we never intended.
As a Type One, I know what it is to polish something after it is already good enough and call it a high standard. Earlier in my career, I prepared extensively before speaking because preparation helped me feel confident. I still prepare, but I no longer need to prepare to the same extent. The work has become part of me. Sometimes the higher standard is trusting what you know and recognising when it is time to stop.
The descriptions below are invitations to notice, not verdicts about nine kinds of people. Your type does not tell the whole story of who you are, and no behaviour belongs to one type alone. Read for the motivation you recognise and the choices it may be shaping.
Type One: the drive to get it right and avoid mistakes
What people value: Your integrity and care. They know you will take the work seriously.
What they may experience when it is overused: More revisions than the work needs, or a sense that nothing quite meets the mark, including their contribution.
A different choice: Agree on what good work looks like before you begin. Give someone else room to meet that standard, and recognise when the work is ready to be finished.
Ask yourself: Am I improving this because it matters, or because it is hard to let it be enough?
Type Two: the desire to be helpful
What people value: Your warmth and your ability to notice what others need.
What they may experience when it is overused: Help that comes at your expense, followed by exhaustion or disappointment that others did not recognise the cost.
A different choice: Offer care you can give freely. You can support others and take your own needs seriously. A clear no can protect the generosity of your yes.
Ask yourself: What am I doing in my life that isn’t mine to do?
Type Three: the drive to deliver
What people value: Your focus, adaptability and ability to find an efficient path to results.
What they may experience when it is overused: A pace they struggle to keep up with, little room for unfinished thinking, or impatience when a conversation does not move quickly towards action.
A different choice: Pay attention to the person as well as the task. Sometimes slowing down long enough to hear what is needed helps everyone move forward.
Ask yourself: How can I include rest without losing momentum?
Type Four: the desire for meaning
What people value: Your originality, sensitivity and ability to see what others miss.
What they may experience when it is overused: Distance when you feel misunderstood, particularly if you withdraw before explaining what matters to you or what feels missing.
A different choice: Put words to what you are experiencing. Give others a way to understand your perspective and give your originality a structure through which they can experience it.
Ask yourself: What am I feeling, and what else might be true here?
Type Five: the need to understand
What people value: Your depth, insight and ability to think clearly.
What they may experience when it is overused: Silence when your perspective would help, because you are still gathering information or working it out privately.
A different choice: Share what you know so far, including what you are still testing. You don't need a complete answer to make a valuable contribution.
Ask yourself: What useful insight am I holding back until I feel completely ready?
Type Six: the need for certainty
What people value: Your loyalty, careful thinking and ability to see a risk before it becomes a problem.
What they may experience when it is overused: So many qualifications or requests for reassurance that your sound judgement becomes difficult to hear. At times, preparing for the worst can make the worst-case scenario sound like the most likely one.
A different choice: Name your recommendation first, then explain the risks you have considered. Let people hear your judgment, not just your questions.
Ask yourself: What do I already know that I can stand behind?
Type Seven: the pull of possibility
What people value: Your energy, resourcefulness and ability to see options.
What they may experience when it is overused: A change of direction before an earlier idea has had time to take shape, or a difficult issue moved past too quickly.
A different choice: Stay with one worthwhile commitment long enough to discover what it needs from you, even when something newer looks more appealing.
Ask yourself: What might become possible if I did not move on yet?
Type Eight: the instinct to take charge
What people value: Your courage, directness and willingness to protect what matters.
What they may experience when it is overused: A strength that leaves little room to disagree or bring you information you may not want to hear. Your tone or body language may affect the conversation before you finish making your point.
A different choice: Invite another view and let it be fully expressed before you respond. Notice whether the way you are communicating makes it easier or harder for someone to be honest with you.
Ask yourself: Who may be editing themselves around me?
Type Nine: the gift of steadiness
What people value: Your calm, patience and ability to make space for others.
What they may experience when it is overused: Uncertainty about where you stand, because you have made room for every voice except your own.
A different choice: Share your view early, while there is still time for it to shape the decision. You do not have to wait for an invitation to offer an insight or ask the question everyone else may be avoiding.
Ask yourself: What matters to me here, and have I said it?
The strength is still yours
None of these patterns asks you to give up what makes you effective. The point is to notice when a trusted strength has taken over the whole conversation.
The One can still care about quality and let the work be finished. The Two can still give generously and have a boundary. The Eight can still be direct and make space for a different view.
Consider the pattern that felt most familiar. Where has it helped you build trust? Where might it be changing the experience others have of you? Choose one small adjustment and notice what happens when you practise it consistently.
Your personal brand grows through those choices. Over time, people come to know both the strength you bring and the care with which you use it.
Here's to self-observation,
Warm wishes
Lori
If you would like to explore your Enneagram type and how it shapes the way you lead and the way others experience you, I would love to hear from you.