Choose time abundance over the time scarcity

I have been working with many teams over the last few weeks and the anxiety is rampant. This is a completely normal response as we are facing an unknown. Most people share similar worries such as finance, kids being home schooled, the fear of the virus itself, being isolated, etc. I encountered a different kind of anxiety in the beginning of this period which I have called ‘Time scarcity’. When this period started, I had an expectation of how each day would go – in fact I wrote about this in a previous blog post and how I got a real shock when my perfectly scheduled and mapped out calendars for my kids and I just didn’t go according to my plan.This was clearly an exercise in futility because I was planning my day like I used to. I was using old tools in a new world and it just wasn’t working. Now before I realised my error, I was getting more frustrated by the day and constantly feeling out of control because no one was doing what they ‘should be’ doing including me.This led to a morning of increased tension and this internal fear that I won’t get what I need to get done because it isn’t happening in the way I want it to or more accurately, the way I expected it would. This became a daily ritual of what I call ‘time scarcity’ to the point where I was triggering migraines every day from the tension and need to control.Time scarcity = the fear my day would be taken away and I wouldn’t get to my work commitments coupled with the balance of ensuring happy kids to be stimulated mentally and looking after their emotional wellbeing with the additions of my spouse, house, etc. Clearly this wasn’t working and I needed to pivot and shift my approach.I realised that my expectation of trying to operate like normal wasn’t serving me or my family. I was under this illusion things are exactly the same only we are operating from home. I reached out to a special friend who brought this to my attention. She was the mirror I needed to give me permission that I needed to change my perspective and be way kinder to myself as well. I want to share with you the tools I have used to my change my focus from time scarcity to time abundance:Plan your week before you are in itThis advice came from Laura Vanderkam’s fantastic TED talk. On a Sunday, I will go through my goals for the week and map out when I can do them. I leave lots of space in the calendar available as a buffer so I have the peace of mind that there is plenty time for the unexpected I haven’t planned for. I also plan time to spend with the kids – I allocate blocks of time for them completely and this protects that space with them especially now that school has started. The reason planning ahead is so powerful is because I know that I have the space and capacity to manage what I need to in the week ahead and it reminds me what I will not be doing during that period. I can visually see where the gaps are and this allows me to relax into the moments where things don’t go in the intended direction. I have removed the uncertainty about how I will get things done. Just to clarify – time abundance doesn’t mean I have unlimited time, it means there is sufficient time to get done what I need to.Know it isn’t always going to be perfectI still schedule in my important tasks into the calendar and am deliberate what needs to get done but the way I approach my day mentally has shifted. When my kids wake up earlier than ‘planned’, I remind myself ‘I have plenty time today to get through what I need to. I don’t have to finish it in this hour’. Instead I enjoy breakfast with them and an activity first. Once their tank is full, they are happy to go and play and I can move onto my tasks.Sometimes all you can control is your breath and postureThere are moments and full days where I had to surrender completely to what was happening externally and my plan had to go out of the window. What I realised was all I could control was my breathing and posture. This sounds silly but it’s so incredibly powerful. I never realised how tense I was and as a result, I was breathing in a very shallow way and this was a huge contributor to triggering the migraines. This special friend is in fact my yoga and meditation teacher and she made me aware of this. I am now being more mindful in taking longer and slower breaths and also doing more research into the topic. Standford Neuroscientist Dr. Andrew Huberman suggests taking a double inhale and then a long exhale to flood the carbon dioxide out of your body quicker. This has made a huge difference to my energy and concentration. You can also inhale for a count of 2 and exhale for a count of 4 to relax your body and mind.In addition, become aware of your posture. Your computer should be raised to eye level so you elbows are resting on the table/desk/whatever you have to use at this time. If you constantly looking down, your neck and shoulder muscles tense up and this also causes strain on your body. Also become aware of raising your shoulders and tensing your jaw. If you don’t become aware of it throughout the day, it builds and can aggravate the tension and stress even more.Lower your expectationsI am an A-type and a high performer; I never expected this line would appear in my writing. But here we are…what I mean is the expectations you had of yourself before quarantine cannot possibly be the same now. Circumstances are different and often beyond your control as I’m sure you’ve realised at this point. Lowering the expectation of what should happen in a given day enables a more relaxed flow to allow the day to unfold. I’m not saying drop your standards; all I am saying is be deliberate, take charge of the day by planning and being strategic about it but don’t beat yourself up when you only get 2 out of 3 tasks done. If you are in a constant space of time scarcity – perhaps you need to question what can realistically happen in a day? Aim high but look through the lens of reality and adjust accordingly.We are the dotThe beauty of hindsight is that you can look back with a sense of certainty that things unfolded in the way that they were meant to, even though you couldn’t see it at the same. For example, you never got that interview you wanted but in hindsight, you can see the blessing in disguise because it revealed a greater opportunity.Right now, we are the dot. We are in it fully and have no clear path where the next dot will lead. And that’s ok, all you can do is embrace and accept the situation for what it is. What’s important is to manage your focus, thoughts and mind to make this time an opportunity to thrive and not just merely survive. Make this a lifestyle design project – figure out what you need to do to make each day special and meaningful. When it doesn’t go according to plan, make a tweak and course correct.Choose to see your day through the lens of time abundance rather than time scarcity. Even when the day turns pear shaped and you feel like you achieved nothing. Remind yourself, it isn’t the same just at home. It is a new way of being so you need to adopt a new way of seeing.Here’s to time abundance done your way,Warm wishesLori