The Quiet Superpower of Leadership: Coaching in Real Time.
Picture this: You’re rushing between meetings, your inbox is screaming for attention, and your to-do list feels like it’s mocking you. In the middle of this whirlwind, a team member stops you in the hallway with a quick question about a project snag. You could toss out a solution and keep moving—or you could pause, ask a thoughtful question, and spark a moment of growth that changes how they approach their work. That’s the magic of coaching in real time.
As a leader, you don’t need a fancy title, a coaching certification, or a blocked-off hour in your calendar to make a difference. What if you could weave coaching into the everyday rhythm of your leadership? Those fleeting moments—over coffee, on a quick call, or during a team huddle—can become opportunities to empower, inspire, and build a team that thrives without you hovering over every decision.
This is what I call the coach-like mindset. It’s not about adding another task to your plate; it’s about transforming how you show up in conversations, so every interaction becomes a chance to unlock potential. Over the years, I’ve leaned on powerful questions inspired by experts like Co-Active Coaching and Rich Litvin, and I’ve seen firsthand how they can shift perspectives in a matter of minutes.
Here’s how you can make coaching in real time your quiet superpower—and why it’s worth it.
Why This Matters.
Your job as a leader isn’t just to keep the ship sailing smoothly. It’s to build a crew that can navigate without you at the helm. Imagine this: If you were out of the office for a week—maybe sipping a cocktail on a long-overdue holiday—could your team keep things running at full speed? Or would you be checking your phone every five minutes, worrying about what’s falling apart?
Leaders who coach in real time create teams that are resilient, self-sufficient, and confident. Instead of being the go-to problem-solver, you become the guide who empowers others to think critically, make bold decisions, and take ownership. The result? A team that doesn’t just survive without you—they thrive. And you? You get to lead with less stress, knowing you’ve built capability that lasts.
It all starts with asking better questions and listening with intention. Let’s dive into how you can make this happen, even in the busiest of days.
How Do You Do This? Ask Questions That Spark Growth.
Coaching in real time isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about asking questions that help others find their own. Here are five ways to bring this mindset to life, with questions that can transform a quick chat into a moment of clarity and action.
1. Questions That Build Autonomy.
Nothing fuels confidence like ownership. When people discover their own solutions, they’re far more likely to act on them with conviction. These questions invite deeper thinking and open the door to self-discovery:
What’s the real challenge here for you?
If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?
What’s another option besides the two in front of you?
What have you not explored yet?
What does success look like for you in this situation?
What obstacles do you expect to face, and how will you approach them?
What about this is most important to you?
What will you commit to doing next?
I’ve got some thoughts, but before I share… what are your first thoughts?
If we could focus on just one thing, which would have the biggest impact?
Which challenge, if solved, might make the others easier?
If we could wipe the slate clean, what would you do differently?
By shifting the focus from you as the answer-giver to them as the solution-driver, you create space for their confidence to grow. It’s like handing them the keys to their own potential.
2. Coaching Begins With Listening.
Great coaching isn’t about talking more—it’s about listening better. True listening means giving someone your full presence, setting aside your assumptions, and being curious about what’s really going on.
Try these questions to show you’re truly hearing them:
I may have missed something; can you tell me more?
What might we be missing here?
Who else might have a different perspective on this?
What leads you to think that way?
Can you give me an example to help me understand?
What are you up against right now?
What concerns are on your mind?
What support do you need to make this happen?
What should we stop doing to move forward?
What should we start doing instead?
When people feel heard—really heard—they’re more likely to share the insights they might otherwise hold back. That’s where the breakthroughs begin.
3. Questions to Create Clarity.
Have you ever noticed how resistance often stems from confusion? When someone’s stuck, it’s usually because they can’t see the path forward. Even in a quick 15-minute chat, you can help them find focus with questions like:
What’s the most pressing issue for you right now?
What specifically do you need to get clear on?
We’ve got 15 minutes—what do you need from me in this moment?
How can this conversation be most useful to you?
A short, intentional exchange can cut through hours of fog and set someone on a clear path forward.
4. Questions to Spark Action.
Insight is great, but without action, it’s just a nice chat. Coaching in real time helps people turn ideas into momentum. Try these questions to move things forward:
What options are you considering right now?
What’s your first step? What’s next?
Who needs to be in the loop on this decision?
How will you know you’re on track?
What might derail you, and how can you plan for it?
What can you set up now to stay on course?
Even small, consistent steps can shift the trajectory of a project—or even a career. Your role is to nudge them toward action, not to carry them there.
5. Listen for the Language.
Words are powerful. The way someone describes a challenge often reveals more than the challenge itself. If you hear phrases like “it’s chaos,” “I’m overwhelmed,” or metaphors like “it’s a warzone” or “I’m drowning,” you’ve got an opportunity to reframe their perspective.
Try questions like:
Are you stuck, or just feeling a bit uncertain?
What would need to happen for you to feel ready to move forward?
What’s one step that feels doable today?
By gently shifting their language, you can shift their mindset—and that’s often the key to unlocking momentum.
The Ripple Effect.
Here’s the beauty of coaching in real time: It doesn’t require a formal session, a coaching degree, or even a quiet office. It’s about showing up with curiosity, staying present, and choosing to ask rather than tell. When you make this a habit, you stop being the bottleneck in your team’s progress. Instead, you become the multiplier—amplifying their capability, confidence, and creativity.
Your team starts solving problems without waiting for your input. They take ownership of their work. And you? You get to lead with more ease, knowing you’ve built a team that can handle whatever comes their way. Plus, you might just find yourself enjoying your time off without checking your phone every five minutes.
Your Next Step.
So, how do you start? Pick one question from the lists above and try it out in your next conversation. Maybe it’s with a team member who’s stuck on a project, or maybe it’s with a colleague over lunch. Notice what happens when you ask, listen, and let them lead. You might be surprised at how a single question can spark a shift.
This is your quiet superpower as a leader: not having all the answers, but knowing how to ask the questions that unlock them. And when you do, you’re not just building a stronger team—you’re creating a legacy of growth, one conversation at a time.
Here's to your superpower,
Warm wishes,
Lori