The Three Lessons Life Keeps Teaching Me.
As a coach, I practice what I preach — I do the work.
That means I actively role model what I ask my clients to embrace: making time for themselves, intentionally carving out space for silence (however that looks for them), and celebrating the small, micro-wins along the way.
I journal, I envision my future self, I commit to learning. And yet, no matter how much I grow or evolve, I keep circling back to the same three fundamental lessons: Acceptance, Non-Attachment, and Letting Go.
Just when I think I’ve finally mastered them, life humbles me — reminding me that this inner work is not a destination, but a beautiful, messy, lifelong practice.
"Doing the work" doesn't mean I'll never get triggered; it means I can spot the pattern sooner and course-correct a whole lot faster. It means I can notice familiar self-sabotaging stories or judgments reappearing — and instead of criticizing myself, I can watch them unfold with lightness, humour, and a good dose of self-compassion.
My hope in sharing this is to bring that same lightness to whatever you may be moving through. Or perhaps, when the time comes, something in this will ring a quiet bell of recognition — and you’ll remember this:
You are your own inner coach.
Because just like no one can do your push-ups or take your morning walk for you, no one can do your inner work for you — not acceptance, not non-attachment, not letting go. It’s all yours.
Acceptance.
If you often hear yourself saying things like:
“This shouldn’t have happened.”
“I can’t believe they did that to me.”
“I should never have agreed to this.”
— that’s a clear sign you’re resisting reality.
The more we resist what is, the more fuel we pour into resentment, anger, and frustration. Or, we swing the other way — into paralyzing anxiety, fear, and sadness.
But acceptance isn’t giving up. It’s not weakness. It is the essential starting point for clarity — for seeing what's truly within your control and what is definitively not.
I remember when my son fell at the bike park. He'd been racing down a dirt hill, too fast, and I heard the cry that every parent dreads. His arm was clearly broken.
In that moment, I could have shouted, “Why didn't you listen to me?” — but instead, a strange, grounding calm took over. I accepted what was. I couldn’t change the broken bone. My choice was crystal clear: be the Zen Mom he needed, not the panicked one who would only make things worse.
Acceptance allowed me to respond rather than react.
Maybe it was easier because it wasn’t my injury. But that same grace and compassion we effortlessly give to others — our children, our friends — we must urgently learn to give ourselves.
When it’s your story, when you’re the one who “messed up” or regretted a decision, can you speak to yourself the way you would to someone you deeply love?
Instead of beating yourself up with, “Why did I do that?” try this gentle pivot:
“Knowing what I know now, what would I choose to do differently next time?”
And please, ask for support when you need it. Acceptance doesn’t mean going it alone; it means being radically honest with yourself and opening up to a new perspective.
Because when you resist reality, you suffer. When you accept it, you create freedom — and that freedom gives you choice. Even if you can’t change the situation, you can absolutely decide how you'll show up to it.
Here are some power questions that open that door:
How is this happening for me, not to me?
What is this moment or challenge here to teach me?
How can I choose to grow from this experience?
What is the possibility or opportunity I’m not yet seeing?
What if this setback is actually a setup for something better?
And if the meaning isn’t yet clear — trust that it will be. You would not receive a challenge you aren't ready to meet.
Acceptance is the moment fear turns into faith.
Non-Attachment.
I’m no expert in Buddhist philosophy, but I’ve always deeply resonated with its wisdom — especially Aparigraha, the principle of non-attachment.
At its heart, non-attachment teaches us that peace doesn’t come from holding on tight or needing things to be a certain way for you to be OK.
It invites you to move through life with open hands, not clenched fists.
In practice, it looks like:
Loosening your grip on rigid expectations and the need for control.
Releasing old identities or habits that no longer serve who you are becoming.
Finding joy in simplicity and being fully present.
Letting go of the conditional belief, “I’ll be happy when…”
Trusting life’s flow, even when you don’t have the next three steps mapped out.
Recently, I learned this lesson again through a sports injury. My physio ordered me to rest for a week — zero exercise. I had two choices: resist and resent the situation, or accept and let go of the deep attachment to my routine.
My coach gently reminded me: “You’re attached to your routine for the feeling of peace. But peace should never depend on anything outside of you.”
She was right, of course. So, I surrendered. I used the time I'd normally spend exercising to write, to dream, to create. There was the gift! I had a slower morning, less rush, and more space for myself.
Ask yourself: What are you attached to that has more hold over you than you’d like to admit?
For one of my clients, it was social drinking. Not heavy, but habitual — a comfortable way to belong. When she realised her sense of connection was tied to alcohol, she felt angry, even scared. But eventually, she chose freedom over fear.
Non-attachment isn’t about deprivation. It’s about integrity — being truly aligned with who you are and who you’re evolving into.
It’s about remembering that control is an illusion — and that your worth isn't found in what you do or how you look, but in who you are.
Letting Go.
Letting go is arguably the hardest — and the most profoundly liberating — of all.
It is pure surrender. It is radical trust. It is the practice of giving yourself and others boundless grace.
Letting go means:
Releasing the futile need to control other people's outcomes.
Dropping crushing expectations — of yourself and others.
Accepting people as they are, not who you desperately want them to be.
Allowing others to find their own path, in their own time, without your guidance.
It's accepting that some people won’t take your well-meaning advice, and that’s okay. That your parents may never change the way you hoped they would — and that's okay, too.
Letting go is not passive. It is a fierce, courageous act of faith in life’s timing and in your own resilience.
Because ultimately, acceptance, non-attachment, and letting go are all vital threads of the same magnificent tapestry. They overlap and blend like a Venn diagram — distinct, yet inseparable.
Final Thoughts.
The next time you feel stressed, stuck, or out of control, pause and ask yourself:
What ingredient is missing here — acceptance, non-attachment, or letting go?
Am I resisting reality, clinging to an old story, or trying to control what isn’t truly mine to control?
Russ Hudson calls this developing the non-reactive heart — meeting the moment exactly as it is, without immediate judgment, resentment, or a desperate attempt to control it.
Because that which you resist, persists.
But that which you accept, transforms.
Here’s to life’s invaluable lessons — and the wisdom they bring.
Warm wishes,
Lori