What does it mean to show up to yourself?

What does it mean to show up to yourself?

I think we can agree on one thing, the pace feels like it gets faster by the week. We are constantly juggling between the multiple roles we play. We put everyone else’s needs ahead of our own because we’ve been conditioned as women to do this. But... what if I told you that time was not the enemy? What if I told you there are enough hours in the day...What we need to get better at is putting more of ourselves into those hours..guilt free. And the solution is simple, it starts with showing up to yourself. Through the workshops and talks I run with women across all industries from corporate to education, there are a few common themes and questions that come up which I would like to address."I don’t have enough time in the day between my job and family responsibilities. I can’t use the mornings and I don’t have the luxury of help with my kids. How can I possibly make progress on the things important to me?"If I asked you to do an audit of your day and where you time goes, I guarantee you that you can find 20 minutes of time. This is the time we don’t account for when we are checking emails for the 5th time in 20 minutes or we are scrolling the social apps mindlessly.The starting point is knowing what you want to do in the allocated time when that block becomes available. Not what you should be doing. There’s a huge difference. Doing the thing you want to do generates energy and creativity. Doing the things you should be doing generates anxiety because what if I do it wrong? What if I should be doing something else?The thing that brings you back to who you are and energises you. The truth is, we can’t rely on our partner, our kids, anything external to switch us on inside. That passion comes from within us and we use it as fuel for the things that matter to us.Be deliberate with your time. That 20 minutes is going to pass regardless of how we choose to spend it. We need to take ourselves seriously and dedicate this time to ourselves. By scheduling it in and showing up to it, we validate our self-worth and validate we matter.So now you’ve decided that you want to do an online course that’s 30 days long. When that slot opens up - because it’s in your calendar and you have blocked that time just for you. Then start on the first step - enrollment. Then the next day, start day 1, do the required reading and exercises. It’s important to block this time on a consistent basis because consistency compounds. You can’t decide to tackle this program and check in every 3 weeks and expect results. Another example is you want to start a meditation practice, download an app like Headspace and start slowly, you can select a 5 minute option. If you do that regularly over a few weeks, you will naturally start to progress.Make each step as bite size as possible. If you give yourself too much to do in 20 minutes, you will probably be paralysed to inaction. Micro wins are when you break that huge goal into the tiniest steps, think of a Lego block. Each block is a micro win and ultimately leads to the achievement of your goal. A micro win can be making an appointment, finding out the enrolment criteria, working on your CV, watching a YouTube video on something that interests you.Now don’t forget to schedule that 20 minute slot (or longer if you can) for yourself and start making progress on the things that bring you back to you one micro win at a time.Warm wishesLori