From Clockwatching to Clock Mastering: Tools for Designing Your Ideal Day.
What does an ideal average day look like? By average, I mean a typical workday.
From the moment you wake up to when you go to sleep, how would this day unfold for you in your perfect world?
When I ask my clients to describe this day to me, I'm always pleasantly surprised by the simplicity of their responses. They aren't about travelling or getting promoted; their ideal average day begins by waking up at the time they want to feel rested, inserting a self-care activity, and going through the day without constant worry, anxiety, and an excessive pace.
They want to feel like they own their day rather than feeling like their day owns them.
Whatever this ideal average day looks like for you, here are some tools to make this a reality:
Go back to basics.
Living by design means being deliberate about how you want to invest your time. When you leave your time to randomness, anyone who asks will get a piece of your day.
To become the architect of your day, first, prioritise your tasks and then schedule them into your calendar. By scheduling, I mean carve out time in the calendar to define exactly when, what and where you will get this done.
I know this sounds condescendingly obvious, but you'll be surprised how many people do not schedule their time. Instead, their to-do list lives in the 'cloud' of their anxious minds, trying to remember everything and stress whether it will all get done.
When it's scheduled in the calendar for Wednesday at 10 am, then you can stop worrying about it until then. Scheduling frees up mental bandwidth for the more pressing tasks.
It's not just your work tasks that must be scheduled but also your personal tasks, from exercise to school lifts and everything in between.
You need one calendar to represent your day.
Discipline is freedom; when it gets scheduled, it gets done.
Put yourself in the in the picture.
The most stressed people are the ones who self-forget and do not put themselves into their day. The most common excuse is 'I don't have time'. Is that true?
You do have time but are most likely choosing to put others first, or you have told yourself a story that you must start work at 7 am when, in reality, you can start by 8:30.
Now that you have time, what would an ideal day look like? What self-care activity would you love to incorporate into it? Is it some walking, gym, yoga, dance, meditation, reading, journaling?
If an hour feels too indulgent, then begin with fifteen minutes. It may sound trivial, but you'll be amazed at what fifteen minutes of consistent action can do for you. When you can see the world didn't stop because you took some time for yourself, you can begin to increase it.
When you appear in the calendar as an equal entry, you will start living out your ideal average day.
Reinvent your evening routine.
To create an ideal average day, you need energy to execute it.
The most common pattern I see with my high-performance clients is that their evening routine generates anxiety, overwhelm and more stress, resulting in poor sleep and exhaustion over time.
If you can replace the habit of screens with the habit of reading, you will reinvent your energy. Screens can mean scrolling through social media, checking your emails, or doing anything work-related.
Like an iPad with every app open, it starts to drain your physical, emotional and mental battery. There needs to be a time in the evening when you give yourself a chance to wind down mentally and detach from work.
Reading becomes a ritual to allow your mind to calm down and even escape if you're into novels. It's not about how much you read; even if you get two sentences, that's perfect. The point is to give yourself time to detach from your day and allow your mind to focus on something neutral.
If you aren't into reading, then consider a journaling practice, or simply close your eyes and focus on everything for which you are grateful. You'll be amazed at how easily you fall asleep and how rested you feel when you wake up.
Create space to reflect.
Living by design means making space to think and reflect on what you want, what you need to start saying no to, and what you want to say yes to.
Reflection time doesn't magically happen; you need to carve out time in the calendar for it. Once you've created this space, here are questions to think about so you can begin to live those ideal average days:
What needs to be different by this time next year for me to thrive in my work?
How would I like to describe myself a year from now?
How would I like to describe my home a year from now?
How would I like to describe my work life a year from now?
How would I like to describe my finances a year from now?
What would I like to have created a year from now?
How would I like to describe my headspace a year from now?
What are the future experiences I hope to create?
Be realistic.
Most of us feel like there isn't enough time in the day, and that's true. There isn't enough time to try to fit in everything.
When you find yourself pushing one more hour at night because you've convinced yourself that this task must happen today, ask yourself: Is this a self-imposed deadline, or, if I'm honest with myself, can it wait until tomorrow?
You already know the answer. Get curious and dig a little deeper into why you need to continue to push yourself.
If you link self-worth to work achievements alone, you will constantly push yourself to keep going and feel guilty about not working.
Give yourself some grace that you are valued for who you are and not only what you achieve or how much you give to others.
It's time to start giving to yourself.
Be OK with discomfort.
Even though you have now created your ideal average day, the real challenge is executing it.
When you change any behaviour, there is a period of discomfort from letting go of the old process to trusting in the new one.
If you never give yourself me-time and now start to build in twenty minutes of yourself to walk or meditate, it's going to feel uncomfortable. The discomfort is your inner critic telling you that you shouldn't be doing this, that you're stealing time from work, and that you should just get into the office.
The discomfort may show up as guilt for starting to look after yourself and be kinder to yourself.
Relax and know this is normal. Turn down the volume of the inner critic and just focus on taking action towards this new habit, even if it is five squats.
The more you can trust in the new process and see the benefits for yourself, the more you will start to protect this time and see it as naturally as oxygen for your soul.
Instead of seeing the discomfort that you are doing something wrong, remind yourself you are doing everything right.
Final thoughts.
All of these tips are nice in theory unless you give yourself permission to put them into practice.
The first step is to decide what an ideal average day looks like and then start to schedule your time accordingly.
When your slot of time appears on the calendar, treat it with the same respect and importance as you would anything or anyone else.
Go through the discomfort of giving yourself the space and time to put yourself first.
Eventually, those feelings disappear because how could you possibly feel guilty keeping the promises you make to yourself when the result is a happier, healthier, and more whole version of you?
If you're still unsure of what an ideal average day looks like, begin with this question: How can I be kinder to myself today?
Here's to being the architect of your day.
Warm wishes,
Lori