From Experience to Insight: The Advice I Kept Coming Back to in 2024: Part One.
Throughout this year, I've witnessed a remarkable pattern emerge in my coaching practice: certain fundamental truths resonate across all boundaries—regardless of age, gender, industry, or management level.
These insights aren't solely my own discoveries; they're the product of countless conversations and the profound lessons I've learned while working with remarkable individuals who've trusted me with their journeys.
As I share my most gifted advice and insights, I'm struck by how they reveal our shared human experience in the workplace and beyond—proof that regardless of where we sit in our careers, we're often navigating similar challenges and aspirations.
Ask for help.
Perhaps your first reaction is, “There is no way I am asking for help!” Reasons include, “I’ll look weak, I’ll be a burden on others, or I am expected to know it all.” All of these are assumptions and fears, not based in reality.
No one does it alone without help; can you redefine asking for help as gaining clarity, helping others grow, and creating connection?
When you feel overloaded and don’t ask for help, you trigger resentment, stress, and overwhelm and ultimately create the very thing you want to avoid - disconnection.
When others ask you for help, you are happy to oblige and even feel good that you can offer a compassionate ear or share your knowledge and wisdom. There was no judgment or attributing traits like weakness to this person, so why do you have a double standard for yourself?
In what area of your life do you need some extra support right now? If it’s work or personal, test yourself by reaching out to someone you trust and tell them what you need. You’ll be amazed at the response and willingness to help with no judgment.
Remember, if you constantly want to be seen as strong and self-sufficient, eventually, people will stop offering help. Your strength lies in your vulnerability and realness.
Tell people what you want.
A close cousin to asking for help is actually telling people what you want. Most people feel that because they extend help to others, people will, in turn, ask them what they need.
Sadly, no one is a mind reader, and no one knows what you want.
By telling them you are not negating the help, you are allowing them into your world.
The problem is that when people don’t respond the way you expect them to, you get resentful and irritable, which only fuels disconnection, stress and conflict.
Don’t assume everything is urgent.
It’s amazing how many clients tell me that there is a pang of anxiety before opening their inbox because they know it’s going to be flooded with at least ten more items on their to-do list.
The reason for this anxiety is that you assume every email is urgent and must be done immediately, which only delays your growing pile of action items. Rather than prioritise your work, you figure you’ll get the mail out and work on your stuff after hours in your personal time.
This is not a winning strategy.
What if instead of assuming everything is urgent, you ask the person, "When do you need this by, or what is the latest I can submit this because I am fully booked until Friday?" Would Monday morning work for you? And guess what? They will probably say no problem or even tell you it is due in only two weeks.
When you can create clarity rather than assuming urgency, you will start to have a friendlier and more peaceful relationship with your inbox.
Your next document or presentation is not an interview.
When clients need guidance on interrupting a procrastination habit, one common trigger is that every presentation feels like they are re-interviewing for their role and, therefore, have to prove themselves continuously.
When you operate like this, the self-doubt will spiral out of control, and this is where you rely on procrastination to avoid anxiety and discomfort.
To break this pattern, start by acknowledging your wins and integrating them into your identity. You deserve to be where you are, and this is not by chance but because of your knowledge and experience.
Another procrastination factor is not asking for clarity or direction from your leader for fear of being judged as incompetent. However, if you can't move ahead, you will create the very situation you are trying to avoid.
The sooner you can move into a place of self-acceptance and self-belief, the more you can tackle each project with a sense of excitement, even if it challenges you, rather than the fear of disappointing others or yourself.
Keep the promises you make to yourself.
Most high performers tell me that they are great at scheduling blocks of time but lousy at keeping this promise.
Does this ring true for you? There is always going to be something else you could work on, and there will always be someone asking if you can help with ‘just one small thing’, but stack these up, and you lose your dedicated work time, meaning you are back to late nights.
Rather than just giving up this precious time because someone asked, respond to them by saying, ‘I'm just in the middle of something important, or I’m on deadline. Let me get this out the way, and then I can give you my full attention.’ You can also discuss a convenient time for both of you to talk about the task in question.
Whether it’s work or committing to the exercise slot, the more you show up to yourself, the more you will boost your confidence. Every time you break an agreement with yourself, you dent your self-trust and self-esteem in the process.
I don't mind what happens.
Oliver Burkeman’s book Four Thousand Weeks revealed a piece of advice that has been an anxiety management savour.
Rather than worrying and stressing about things I can’t control, like whether a big project will come off, I relegate this anxiety to a simple phrase: I don’t mind what happens.
I’m not lying to myself, but I am giving myself permission to let go of trying to control circumstances that I have zero control over. For example, I was asked to present at a leadership workshop that required a fair amount of travel. Rather than stressing about whether they would accept the proposal or not and what if I do need to travel, followed by a string of what-ifs, I reminded myself—I don’t mind what happens.
I have sent off the proposal, and now it’s out of my hands. If they accept it, then great. And if not, well, then it’s just not meant to be. ‘I don’t mind what happens’ allows me to let go without being emotionally charged by the outcome.
It did come through, and I was delighted, but I didn't delay my joy by waiting for the result.
You have time.
A typical conversation with high performers goes something like this:
Client: I would love to start exercising again or making time for meditation, but I just don’t have time.
Me: What time do you start work, and what time do you wake up?
Client: I can start around 8:30 or even 9:00, and I can wake up anywhere between 6:30 and 7:00.
Me: So you have already found at least an hour in the morning. Even though you are scheduled to start at 8:30, why are you checking your emails and starting to work around 7 a.m.? What if you took even twenty minutes to begin with and proved to yourself that you can have this time, and nothing will break at work? In fact, you will be happier and feel more energised.
If you had to analyse your morning, where can you carve out time and space for yourself without allowing yourself to be guilt-ridden by self-remembering?
You do have time.
You don’t need to start work as you wake up.
You can have both.
Now schedule it, show up and keep the promise you make to yourself.
The word you attach to your experience becomes your experience.
We all have habitual words and phrases we use that are on autopilot, and we don’t realise the impact it has on us and others.
When asked how someone is, the typical responses are: I’m stressed, exhausted, hectic, broken, and my favourite, ‘I’m surviving.’
Phases like ‘I can’t do it, I can’t cope, this is too much for me, or this is impossible’ will affect how you perceive situations and how you respond accordingly.
Start a thought audit and pay close attention to your habitual words, such as feeling stuck or labelling every situation a nightmare.
When clients tell me that they are stuck, I ask them if they are stuck or a little uncertain. Uncertainty can be unravelled, but being stuck feels permanent and overwhelming.
Consider your habitual words and what empowering options could replace them.
Final thoughts.
Here's a more engaging and cohesive final paragraph that maintains your approachable tone while strengthening the closing message:
Think of these insights as a personal growth buffet—sample what calls to you first, then return for deeper exploration when you're ready. The key isn't to transform everything at once but to start with one insight that truly speaks to you and take a single different action, whether that's reframing a thought or approaching a situation with fresh curiosity.
Real growth happens when we make the invisible visible—when we catch ourselves in our default patterns and consciously choose a different path. Yes, we'll occasionally slip back into old habits, but success lies in noticing these moments sooner and adjusting more quickly. Each time we do, we're laying the foundation for new, more effective behaviours.
As 2024 draws to a close, resist the urge to completely "fix" yourself for the new year. Instead, focus on understanding which patterns aren't serving you and what behaviours keep repeating—this awareness is your compass for making different choices in the future.
I'm excited to discover what new insights and possibilities 2025 will bring for all of us.
Here's to choosing new paths,
Warm wishes,
Lori