Harmony Over Balance: Redesigning How We Work and Live.
Does work–life balance exist? Honestly? No.
Tony Robbins says, “The word you attach to your experience becomes your experience.” And balance… balance assumes precision. It assumes a picture-perfect life where everything is evenly distributed. But real life? Real life doesn’t work that way. Deadlines pile up, kids get sick, bosses call at the last minute, and sometimes, you just need to focus on one thing at a time.
Does work–life balance exist? Honestly? No.
Tony Robbins says, “The word you attach to your experience becomes your experience.” And balance… balance assumes precision. It assumes a picture-perfect life where everything is evenly distributed. But real life? Real life doesn’t work that way. Deadlines pile up, kids get sick, bosses call at the last minute, and sometimes, you just need to focus on one thing at a time.
Balance feels like a mirage — and chasing it often leaves us exhausted. It asks for perfection in an imperfect world, and that’s a setup for frustration.
Instead, try harmony.
Harmony acknowledges life’s messiness. It’s about prioritising what matters in the moment, showing up fully, and then shifting focus when it’s time. It’s presence minus guilt. When you’re at work, be in it. When you’re with loved ones, really be there. That presence — fully showing up — is what makes life feel meaningful and complete, no matter the task at hand.
Replace Balance with Prioritising.
Prioritising assumes everything deserves equal airtime. Harmony doesn’t. It honours seasons, cycles, and choice.
When work demands more of you, harmony says: “I’m giving this deadline my full attention now, and later I’ll shift to the parts of life that matter outside of work.”
Harmony is presence without guilt. When you’re at work, be fully there—don’t apologise for not being elsewhere. When you’re with loved ones, release the pull of what you “should” be doing. They can sense it when you’re physically present but mentally drafting tomorrow’s email. Harmony is showing up fully, wherever you are.
Think about your own day. How often do you try to divide your attention evenly, only to feel like you’re falling short? Harmony shifts that thinking. It’s not about doing everything equally; it’s about noticing what matters most right now and giving it your full attention.
When a deadline demands your focus, embrace it. Later, pivot to family, friends, or self-care. Harmony is movement, not perfection. It’s about choosing where to be fully present, knowing that each moment has its season and each priority its time.
Design Your Version of Harmony.
Harmony doesn’t happen by accident — it’s a form of lifestyle design.
Ask yourself:
What does an ideal average day look like?
What time would you like to start the day?
Where do you appear in your own calendar?
Often, you could start work at 8:30, yet tell yourself you must start at 7:00. That quiet 30–60 minutes could be the difference between feeling resentful and being intentional.
Identify your non-negotiables:
A proper 30-minute lunch (without punishment by working late)
Exercise
School drop-off
Tea alone in the kitchen
A walk
Ten minutes of stillness
Harmony is not about perfection — it’s noticing what’s missing and choosing to recalibrate. These small choices create the scaffolding for a day that energises, instead of drains, you.
Notice What You’re Neglecting.
If you had to rate yourself in each area over the last 30 days out of 10, which area has been most neglected? Harmony isn’t always about doing more — it’s about noticing what’s been ignored.
Use a simple self-check: If fun is sitting at 2/10, what could you add in the next 30 days?
Board games. Cooking classes. Bowling. New places. Laughter. Letting go.
Another powerful question: Who am I at my best?
Think of a time you felt confident, calm, in flow. What were you doing? Running, meditating, planning? These answers are clues.
Now, consider one small habit you can begin to reintroduce these activities. Read a page before bed, take a ten-minute walk, or start your day with one minute of mindful breathing. Reintroducing what’s missing replenishes your energy tanks — and that is the heart of harmony.
Put Yourself Back in the Picture.
When I ask clients to describe their day, the common thread is this: they are not in it. That pattern leads to exhaustion, resentment, burnout, and sometimes depression.
Harmony starts with designing an ideal average day:
What truly matters to you?
What fills your energy tank?
What fuels your inspiration?
For some, it’s the gym or a morning walk. For others, it’s ten quiet minutes with coffee before opening a laptop. Yet the fear is always the same — “If I don’t start immediately, I’ll fall behind.”
Here’s the truth: every time you take leave, it feels like the worst possible time, and yet the world continues. The same is true for 15 minutes in the morning.
The shift isn’t in colour-coding your diary — it’s in giving yourself permission to show up with the same importance as any other meeting. That’s where real harmony begins.
Schedule Yourself Without Apology.
Discomfort doesn’t mean something is wrong — it often means something is finally right. That discomfort comes from a pattern interrupt: you’re placing yourself on the same level of importance as everything else in your calendar.
The first step is visibility. When you schedule yourself, you make a declaration: I deserve space. If it gets scheduled, it gets done.
Keep the Promises You Make to Yourself.
Scheduling is step one. Harmony is step two — showing up.
Whether the promise is:
Leaving the office before dark
Taking a real lunch break
Meditating for five minutes
Replacing bedtime scrolling with one page of reading
Start small. Even one paragraph counts. Each time you keep a promise to yourself, your confidence grows. Each time you break it, you chip away at your own trust. Harmony is built one consistent act of self-respect at a time.
Harmony Requires Receiving.
One of the fastest ways to block harmony is refusing help.
The two biggest fears? Being a burden. Being seen as incapable.
But what if harmony is allowing others to contribute? If you haven’t had time with yourself, your partner, or your thoughts, when last did you ask a family member, colleague, partner, or friend to step in? You’re not burdening them — you’re giving them the gift of helping.
When you consistently decline support, people eventually stop offering it. That leads to resentment, because part of you still hopes they’ll “just know” what you need. Harmony makes space for help — and in doing so, deepens connection.
Measure Your Day by How You Want to Feel.
Most of us measure our worth by how many items we tick off a to-do list. The problem? That list has become a guilt and survival list. We rarely consider how long things actually take, especially on days with many meetings.
What if you measured your day using a to-feel list? Ask: How do I want to feel by the end of today — anxious, overwhelmed, and drained, or grateful, energised, and content? Your feelings come from the activities in your calendar.
It’s not about being happy all day — that’s unrealistic. It’s about letting gratitude and optimism outweigh resentment. Resentment rises when we don’t show up for ourselves, don’t ask for help, and fail to express what we truly need. Harmony counters this cycle.
Measure Your Value Beyond Work.
If you only measure your worth by output, productivity, and deadlines, harmony will feel impossible.
Think of the day you attended your child’s sports match. You weren’t “behind” — you were giving them something only you can give: presence and significance. Or the colleague you supported through a difficult time — maybe nothing was ticked off, but you made a meaningful impact.
Value doesn’t only come from doing — it comes from contribution. Some days your greatest value is in your professional role; other days, it’s as a parent, friend, or partner. And sometimes, your thinking is as valuable as your doing. Strategy, planning, and reflection may be invisible, but they create a lasting impact. Sometimes you need to slow down to speed up to generate the harmony you desire.
Final Thoughts.
Harmony isn’t about perfection. It’s about intention.
It’s presence without guilt. It’s keeping promises to yourself. It’s scheduling yourself like you matter. It’s accepting help without shame. It’s designing a day that energises and inspires you.
Balance is a myth. Harmony is a choice. And that choice can change everything — one deliberate, intentional moment at a time.
Here’s to harmony your way,
Warm wishes,
Lori