How to Move Through the Space in Between Fear and Growth.
There’s this uncomfortable space in between:
Between learning and actually growing.
Between growing and finally feeling ready.
Between waiting for opportunities to arise and trusting that they will.
Between doing the right things and seeing the results.
Between letting go of the old version of yourself and stepping into who you’re becoming.
It’s awkward. It’s messy. And if I’m honest, it’s usually the place where the uncertainty and anxiety can feel too overwhelming. But it’s also the only place where real transformation happens.
My Spaces in Between.
I’ve reinvented myself so many times. From corporate executive to entrepreneur. From speaker to trainer. From trainer to coach.
Even within coaching, I’m constantly upgrading—Strategic Intervention, Immunity to Change, IFS, and The Enneagram. And every time I upgrade, I find myself back in that same uncomfortable space: the gap between student and teacher.
And the questions always come: Who am I to share this? Do I really know enough? Does the world really need another teacher, another book, another voice?
When I first started with the Enneagram, it felt overwhelming. You begin with nine types, then it expands to 27 subtypes, and eventually 54. It felt like dumping a puzzle on the table where every piece looks the same. Part of me wanted to shut the box and walk away.
But like a puzzle, you sort it piece by piece. Slowly, a picture forms. And one day you realise—you’re actually solving it. Five years into my Enneagram journey, I find myself seeing new layers I couldn’t even comprehend at the start.
That’s what the space in between does. It stretches you, tests your patience, and eventually shapes you into someone who sees differently.
What’s Your Puzzle?
So what’s the puzzle in front of you? Is there something you want to start but feel too overwhelmed or intimidated by? Or maybe you’ve started, but you still feel like a fraud calling yourself proficient.
Chase Jarvis has a line I love: to be the noun, you must do the verb. Want to be a writer? Write. Want to be a runner? Run. Want to be a teacher, speaker, or artist? Show up and do the work.
It’s not about waiting until you feel ready—it’s about practising until your new identity feels natural. And if you don’t take yourself seriously enough to step into it, no one else will either.
The Three Fears That Keep Us Stuck.
So why do we get stuck in the space in between? Most of the time, it’s fear, not ability.
Brendon Burchard talks about three fears that keep us from moving forward:
1. Process Pain: We play a movie in our head about how hard, uncomfortable or embarrassing something will be. Going to the gym, working on those overdue taxes, learning a skill—our brains exaggerate the difficulty. The cure is simple: start. Once you do, you realise the story was scarier than reality.
2. Loss Pain: We fear what we might lose—time, comfort, energy, even freedom. This fear keeps us in jobs we don’t like or holds us back from new opportunities. But avoiding loss also means avoiding joy. The shift occurs when you stop asking, 'What might I lose?' and start asking, 'What could I gain?'.
3. Outcome Pain: This is the fear of disappointment. What if it doesn’t work out? What if I fail? What if the results don’t last? What if I lose the weight, but I put it back? As Seneca said, we suffer more in imagination than in reality. Most of what we fear never happens—and when it does, we’re usually stronger than we thought.
Moving Through the Space.
Here’s the thing: you don’t have to leap. Just notice which fear is loudest for you right now, and question it. Is this really true? Who would I be without this thought?
Sometimes the next step is ridiculously small. Send the email. Write the first sentence. Walk into the gym. Open the application form. That’s how you shrink fear—by doing the thing, not by waiting until you feel fearless or waiting for inspiration to appear magically.
Another tool I use is journaling about my future self. I imagine the version of me who has already crossed the gap. How does she show up? How does she deal with fear or stress? Then I notice—piece by piece—I’m becoming her. Sometimes it’s subtle: staying calm where I’d normally react, or listening instead of jumping in with my opinion. That’s the power of the space in between. One day you wake up and realise—you’ve already stepped into the version of yourself you were chasing.
Final Thoughts.
The space in between is uncomfortable, no doubt. But it’s also sacred—it’s the place where growth lives.
When you find yourself stuck there, ask: What’s really holding me back? Which fear is speaking? Then take the smallest possible step forward.
Piece by piece, fear gives way to courage. Action turns into identity. And before you know it, you’re already living as the person you once only dreamed of being.
Here's to embracing the space in between,
Warm wishes,
Lori