How to Have Better Energy, Even if You Think You Have Tried Everything.

When it comes to self-care and energy management, you associate it with an activity you need to do. You should go for a walk, meditate, read a non-fiction book or drink more water. Now all of these are valid, and you should make sure you are ticking the basics in the following categories:

· Hydration: aim to make water your default choice of drink throughout the day.

· Nutrition: choose more whole foods rather than processed. In other words, can you see where it was made?

· Sleep: treat sleep like a meeting in your diary where you schedule at least 7 to 8 hours per night.

· Movement: schedule three to five dedicated slots for exercise in your calendar per week.

· Relaxation: introduce activities that allow your mind to wander and focus on something non-work-related. It could be a hobby, reading, a mindfulness practice, or journaling.

· Connection: cultivate solid personal relationships to share your challenges, laugh, and have a sense of belonging.

· Gratitude: make a daily point of writing or consciously acknowledging the good in your life to keep you focused on what you have rather than what’s missing in your life.

I am not telling you anything you don’t know, but I would like to make sure I have addressed the basics of self-care and energy management.

Now I can get to the main point of this article.

I practice what I preach and tick all these boxes, yet this last week I found myself feeling relatively flat despite these daily practices. Fortunately, I didn’t have anything to cause this feeling directly, but it made me explore different ways of thinking about energy management. Here are five ways you can boost your energy when you think you’ve tried it all:

Start work 30 minutes later.

With the lack of geographic separation between work and home, it is essential to set clear boundaries on when your workday begins and ends. I have set up my schedule that work starts at 8:30 sharp; I wake up at 5 AM to make space for my self-care activities such as yoga, meditation, journaling, and exercise and get the kids ready for school. When 8:30 arrives, I am ready to begin my day refreshed and in a peak state. Now, this morning routine rests on the assumption I have had a great night of interrupted sleep.

One of the main reasons for my low energy levels was disrupted sleep, mainly from my kids waking me up in the night combined with an overly active mind. On those mornings, I decided to give myself a breather and start my workday at 9 AM. I cannot tell you the difference that thirty minutes made to my headspace. It permitted me to slow down instead of feeling like I had to rush through my morning. I gave myself space to allow it to unfold more gently, much like the feeling you get on a holiday. I paired my training with listening to an online course and made my exercise time more enjoyable.

Instead of stressing myself and rushing through my workout because my kids wanted some extra playtime, I cut myself some slack. I reminded myself that it just doesn’t matter to start thirty minutes later in the scheme of things. I wasn’t letting anyone down; I didn’t have any commitments for that day, the only person who was standing in the way of a happy morning was me.

I arrived at my computer more focused, fully charged, and clear on exactly what I needed to accomplish. The difference in my mindset and my state made a huge difference to my energy and productivity.

What time does your workday begin? What if you spent a few days extending it slightly — of course, on the days where you don’t have a team meeting to attend. I am talking about the days where it doesn’t matter to anyone else except you. You will not believe the mental freedom and energy you will gain from this simple gift.

You cannot wait for the weekend or a holiday to give you permission to allow a gentler morning; how about creating a workday you don’t want a vacation from?

Give yourself permission to change your routine.

Since remote working began, I typically start my exercise session at 6 AM. Over the last week, I have started my writing practice at 6 AM while the kids were asleep and moved my workout to start between 7 AM and 7:30 and still begin my workday at 8:30.

This may sound like a trivial example, but you are a creature of habit, and you like the known. Often we find ourselves stuck in a pattern that may not be serving us, but it feels easier to continue because it’s what we have always done.

The simple shift of moving my writing earlier worked so well because it allowed me to place a task in my awareness when I felt energised to do it rather than being stuck and fixated on how I should be doing it or how I usually do it.

The principle is to let go of thinking in a set way about how your day should unfold. How can you become the architect of your calendar rather than the victim of it?

If you usually go for a walk in the afternoon or after work, but lately, you have found yourself finding an excuse and defaulting to Netflix and a glass of wine after work; perhaps it’s time to review a different slot for that walk? What if you went at 11 AM or lunchtime instead?

It doesn’t need to be a permanent change, but permit yourself to structure the activities that work for you based on your current headspace and energy levels. As long as you meet your deadlines and deliver your work on time, no one will question you about what happens between your workday.

Acknowledge your feelings.

State management is a huge part of managing your energy. When something happens, you have a choice in that moment: to identify your emotion or be identified by it.

If you receive a rude email or text, you have the choice to name the emotion — Wow, I am feeling frustrated and hurt by that email. The alternative is to get so caught up in the anger that you respond destructively, saying something you will later regret. Naming the emotion allows you to insert a mental pause button and create space so you can respond rather than react.

Psychologist Nick Wignall says when you validate your emotions, it means that you acknowledge how you feel and remind yourself that it’s okay to feel that way even if it’s uncomfortable, confusing, or painful.

In a recent article, Wignall advises that when you avoid your painful emotions, you unintentionally make them more robust in the long run because you train your brain to fear them. As a result, they exert more influence over you.

He gives the example of Anxiety: Anxiety can’t hurt you. But suppose every time you start to feel anxious, you immediately call someone and ask for reassurance, or try to make it go away by doing many deep breathing exercises. In that case, you’re teaching your brain that anxiety itself is dangerous. This means the next time you get anxious; you will be doubly anxious because now you’re anxious about being anxious!

But when you’re willing to validate your emotions, even briefly, you lessen their hold over you in the long run because you teach your brain that, while uncomfortable, they’re not dangerous.”

“You can’t eliminate painful emotions, but you don’t have to be a prisoner to them.”

Stop comparative suffering.

Everyone has experienced Covid-19 very differently based on their unique experience. Some of us have been more severely affected depending on the industry and whether or not we have had direct exposure to family, colleagues, or friends suffering from Covid.

Even though we are in different boats, but in the same storm, you are fully entitled to experience the full range of emotions this Pandemic brings. Although this sounds logical, you can fall into the trap of comparative suffering and feel guilty about experiencing grief, frustration, sadness, anxiety, or fear because someone else has got it worse off than you.

I know I did this last year when lockdown began. I suppressed and ignored my anxiety because I didn’t feel justified in having this feeling. I focused on the good in my life and what I could be grateful for. However, in pushing down this feeling, I suffered from severe migraines for six months.

You have every right to experience your feelings irrespective of how someone else you know is worse off than you. Honour how you feel; acknowledge it with kindness and compassion for yourself. Of course, you are experiencing an emotional roller coaster at the moment. Name it, sit with it, thank it, and don’t avoid it.

Then when you have had enough of the sadness or grief, let it go and ground yourself with gratitude. You also do not want to spend too much focus on the lower level emotions as you feel the way you think.

If you want to feel great, focus on better thoughts. This is not false-positive psychology, but rather tell yourself, ‘I know I can figure this out because I always do’. You don’t have to know the solution, but you can be confident in figuring it out because you have a proven track record.

The ultimate remedy: Trust Your Self.

As an extreme last resort, you may need to have a serious sit down with your boss. In Seth Godin’s latest book, The Practice, he gives a brilliant rant about working for the world’s worst boss.

The World’s Worst Boss

“You might work for the world’s worst boss. The boss might be a jerk. The boss might not recognize all the good work that you do. The boss might do a lousy job of lining up better clients to keep you busy. Or might not reward you for all the insight and care, and passion you bring to the job.

In fact, the boss might bother you at home in the middle of the night for no good reason. Waking you up so that you can worry a little bit more about work. And mostly, the boss might have the wrong expectation of what you’re capable of creating. You’ve probably guessed who I’m talking about.

The world’s worst boss might very well be you.

Because the most important boss whom each of us answers to is ourselves. And what it means to have a better boss is to have a boss who raises the bar for us but still gives us a break when we fail. What we need is a boss who is diligent and patient, and insightful. We need a boss who trusts us.

Sometimes I use the phrase “trust your self,” with three words instead of two. Who is “your”? Who’s doing the trusting and who’s being trusted?

What we need is a boss who can trust us enough to look ahead with confidence as we go on this journey. Most of all, what we need from a great boss, for our self, is somebody who will see us for what we are capable of.

You would never work for somebody who treats you the way that you treat your self. It’s time to start training the boss that is you. Time to start trusting your self, trusting the process, and trusting that you are actually as capable as you are.”

Final Thoughts.

When you have tried everything, step back and remind yourself that self-care is not always about what you should start doing but also about what you should stop doing.

Remember, the only person who is standing in your way of creating enjoyable days is you.

Stop being the world’s worst boss.

Here’s to doing things differently,

Warm wishes

Lori