It’s Time to Ditch Your To-Do List for a To-Be List.

What do a chef, an artist, and an author have in common?

They begin with the end in mind.

They know what they want to create and use the best quality tools and ingredients to enable the creative process to unfold.

It doesn't always end exactly as they originally envisaged, but this is the nature of the creative process.

What can you learn from these creative geniuses?

Source the best quality ingredients.

As Stephen Covey famously says, begin with the end in mind, especially when it comes to your personal growth.

When you use Waze or Google Maps, you can't begin the journey without the end destination. The route may change along the way depending on traffic or unexpected hazards, but you'll always get to the endpoint most efficiently.

What do you want? What does your endpoint look like? Here are some questions to ask yourself to guide you:

· What needs to be different by this time next year for me to thrive in my work?

· How would I like to describe myself a year from now?

· How would I like to describe my home a year from now?

· How would I like to describe my work-life a year from now?

· How would I like to describe my finances a year from now?

· What would I like to have created a year from now?

· How would I like to describe my headspace a year from now?

Now that you have a better idea of where you want to go, it's time to source the best ingredients to create this masterpiece. Of course, I'm not talking about food ingredients or paints but the traits and characteristics you need to enable you.

Your ingredients list is a to-be list because creation begins from a place of being, not doing.

Who do you need to be to achieve your goals?

Complete this sentence – If I were more___________, I would take action on my goals, or I would see the results I want in my relationships.

Could it be more playfulness, patience, self-acceptance, compassion, enthusiasm or boldness?

If you were more patient, how would that affect your relationships?

If you were more self-accepting, how would you approach your self-care?

If you were more compassionate, how would that change your relationship with yourself?

Once you have identified the core ingredients you want to add to your mix, commit to a ritual to make that a reality. It's not enough to want to be more patient; you need an action to wire this into your body, so it becomes a habit and part of your new identity.

Desired trait: Patience = I will take ten deep breaths before responding when I feel triggered.
Desired trait: Self-acceptance = Every time I look in the mirror, I will tell myself that I am enough.
Desired trait: Boldness = When I have feelings of self-doubt, I will write down my wins.
Desired trait: Contentment = When I get triggered by stress and overwhelm, I will write down three things I am grateful for.

It's not always what needs to be added but equally removed.

Best selling author Stephen King says," "To write is human, to edit is divine"

The true gift of a writer is removing the superfluous words that don't contribute to the message while maintaining the essence. When it comes to your recipe for growth, you, too, need to edit out the unnecessary elements that weigh you down.

Ironically the biggest derailer of your progress is the story you tell yourself. Often your story is the barrier between who are you being versus who you are becoming. If your story no longer serves your goals, can you edit the story or hit delete entirely and write a better one?

If your story is that you're too old, bad with numbers, an introvert, awful at public speaking, etc., then find a more empowering story. This outdated version determines what you show up to and, more importantly, what you are shrinking away from.

When you change the story, you change your possibilities.

Separate the facts from your story.

It's not only the daily narration of your personal story you need to edit, but there is most likely a story you add on top of everyday situations that trigger you.

Can you separate the facts from your story? Let's say your teenage child constantly leaves wet towels on the floor or your partner leaves dirty dishes in the sink. Instead of picking up the towels or putting the dishes in the dishwasher, you have created a story that your child doesn't respect you and your partner does not value you.

The fact is there are dirty dishes in the sink. The story is the meaning you gave to the dishes in the sink – that person doesn't respect me.

What if your partner has a different way of managing the dishes, and they like to load the dishwasher once instead of continually throughout the day?

Perhaps someone never replied to your Whatsapp message immediately. The fact is there is a delay in their response to you, but your story becomes that this person is upset with you or is ignoring you on purpose.

What if you created three other empowering alternatives? For example, they are in a meeting, are not well, or had to attend to an emergency and haven't looked at their phone messages all day. All are viable scenarios and remove the stress and anxiety you have tied to the innocent action.

The starting point is self-awareness; first, notice the story. Then question if the story is true and edit accordingly.

Your story becomes the lens through which you view your world. If your story is that no one takes you seriously, you will taint every situation because of this lens. Separate the story from the facts, and you will change how you view your world.

Final thoughts.

‘ Human beings are works in progress who mistakingly think they’re finished’ - Dan Gilbert.

Personal growth is not an end destination; it's a daily process. Every day is an opportunity to put your actions in the science lab of your lab and figure out what triggered you so you can do it better the next time.

Not every painting is a masterpiece; not every new recipe a chef attempts is a winner the first time. It is trial and error, but the best ingredients and tools are at the core of their work. It's not always about achieving your goals but who you are becoming in the process.

Author of Prison Break, Jason Goldberg, says we have an imaginary soccer team inside of us (or insert your preferred sport). Instead of wearing numbers on their shirts, they have traits. Every team member is waiting to be picked; you need to permit them to come onto the field.

Remember your to-be list; well, all your players are waiting for you when you need them. You can call courage, compassion, patience, self-belief or confidence when you need their skillset.

You also get to direct them in your life story; if you're unsure which filter to use, make gratitude your default.

In the wise words of Brene Brown: