Owning Your Days Is Not About Time Management but Choice Management.

To own your day, you need to realise that it's not only about what you do with your precious hours; it's the mindset you bring to the time available and how you approach each task.

Time scarcity is the feeling you have when you wake up that there isn't enough time to get it all done. Do you have those looping thoughts about how you can manage it all? How can you possibly get through all your to-do list items today?

You begin your day from a place of lack and never enjoy what you're doing because your mind constantly worries about the next task that hasn't happened. It's exhausting, overwhelming and not sustainable. Your attention is constantly future-focused, which is the breeding ground for anxiety.

If you can switch your default focus from time scarcity to time abundance, you will change how you experience your days. I'm not saying more time is available, but you can choose how to experience those precious hours so that your headspace is one of contentment, flow and ease.

What's your time story?

I am militant about going for a regular facial every five weeks. I remember a previous version of myself in full-blown time scarcity mode.

I used to arrive at the facial so uptight and worried about the work I wasn't doing. Rather than enjoy this treat, I was anxious and stressed because the inner dialogue told me how irresponsible I was being here when there was so much to do.

After the 90 minutes, I would frantically reach for my phone, and guess what? Nothing changed. The world did not fall apart because I wasn't online.

Fast forward to an older, more self-aware version of myself, I have completely shifted my attitude and mindset, and it has become the highlight of my month.

Timing is everything.

I plan this appointment on a Friday to coincide with a hectic week. As Greg McKeown says," Do not do more today than you can completely recover from tomorrow". This is part of my energy management strategy, so I am varying the pace of my days to allow for recovery time.

I also change the internal dialogue from wasting time to gaining time. I use the quiet time during the facial to work through workshops, blogs and anything that requires deep creative thinking.

I have conceptualised events and talks because I was relaxed and allowed myself the space to get lost inside my head. My energy coming into the appointment is contentment, gratitude and excitement because I have made it a creation session. Yes, I could switch off and not focus on anything work-related, but I used the time as my mini creative brainstorming retreat.

I leave that appointment fully charged for the rest of the day and weeks afterwards.

Perhaps facials and beauty treatments aren't your thing. The point is, what is your time story in your daily life? Do you tell yourself you don't have enough time, you're too busy to exercise, walk or read your book?

The good news is that you are the author of the story. Fire the inner critic as the narrator and create a better story that allows you to do self-care without guilt.

Planning provides peace.

If you have a genuinely big project or task to tackle and it's stressing you out, this is where planning and prioritising comes in. If you have a mindset of time scarcity, take your calendar and plan when and where you will dedicate time to your project.

I had a stressed client who had to complete a board exam on top of her usual responsibilities. Once we spent some time planning and blocking out space for preparation and revision, she could see she did have more than enough time available. Her challenge was honouring her promise to herself and committing to the time she dedicated to her studies.

When you can see the roadmap of your goal, you can focus on getting through the work rather than worrying that you may not have time. The time is always there; your story interferes with your progress.

Once you can get past the drama and focus on the facts, you can ease into a time abundance mindset and stop contracting and ruining your days.

What's the energy you bring to the task?

Think about when you need to prepare a document, project or presentation. If you associate it with dread and fear, you will not bring your best creativity, ideas and possibility thinking.

If you focus on how you need to be perfect and fear judgement, you will find a way to avoid the task and land up surfing the web or organising your inbox as a safe way to spend your time.

The point I'm making is that what you schedule in your calendar is only half the picture of productivity; success depends on the energy you bring to the task.

If you want to get healthier but see your new choices as a punishment, and you're a victim who has to give up your favourite treats, then you will probably not stay the course for more than a few weeks at best.

To successfully transition into a healthier version of you requires an identity shift. You aren't on a 'diet' because that is temporary but becoming a healthy person or fit allows you to internalise this is who you are now. Once you shift your attention to your new identity, you can show up with excitement, gratitude and acceptance rather than resistance and resentment.

 Can you take the same approach to your work?

How can you approach the task with a more positive outlook to bring your best self to it? Shift your identity to being a leader and contributor rather than having to show up perfectly. When you focus on yourself, you will create a story around the task and begin to dread it.

Shift your attention by setting an intention for the project – is your intention to demonstrate a skill or to provide value to the team? What is the message you want them to leave with?

You can chunk it down and start small. Avoid thinking about the whole presentation; instead, focus on slide 1. Write down the heading and one bullet point to create progress. When you constantly ruminate that you haven't begun the project, you move into a time scarcity mindset.

When I need to create a new presentation or blog piece, I schedule a time and show up. I don't count how many words I wrote, but I acknowledge my progress and celebrate the fact that I've started.

If you continually live in a story that you could've done more, you will always feel like you're letting yourself down.

 Set mental boundaries on your time.

Have you ever forgotten to charge your phone when you start your day? Is it in the red? That's what most Mondays feel like, I'm sure. You're depleted or close to empty instead of fully recharged?

You will not shift this pattern if you don't set boundaries on your recovery time after hours and weekends.

Self-awareness is the meta-habit of change. When you reach out to check your inbox or 'just catch up on some work' after hours or on the weekend, remember that this is not the time.

I know it feels like the right thing to do because the time is available, but if you continue to sacrifice recovery for work, you will constantly feel in a state of resentment and passive-aggressive anger.

Telling yourself that you'll rest on holiday is also a false promise. How will you manage on holiday if you aren't comfortable spending time on the weekend? Exposure is the antidote to anxiety. You need to experience what it feels like to have a work-free weekend to know nothing will shift if you enjoy it.

Once you can master this on the weekend, you'll be ready for the actual vacation, and you can truly enjoy it.

 Focus on creating moments rather than losing them.

 I don't get this right all the time. I often remind myself on weekends – this is your family time. You are not meant to work; you have it all under control. Go and relax with a book or go and build a puzzle with the kids. It's easy to leave them on screens because it's convenient, and you get to catch up on work, making you happy.

The best advice I heard from author Benjamin Hardy was to imagine yourself in 10 years looking back at the moment in front of you. I imagine my daughter at age 17 and my son at 19 years old, and I know how much I will miss these special moments when I can still build puzzles or play games with them, and they are happy to do it with me too! When I imagine the time has gone by, it shifts my perspective.

I often do this at night when I catch myself contracting because it's later than I want it to be, and my daughter wants another chapter of her book. I picture her at 17 and appreciate the moment in front of me. Sometimes you need to imagine the time gone to put things in perspective. When you shift your attention this way, you create time abundance.

Who's writing the script of your story?

It's one thing to have the inner critic narrating your story but have you gone a step further to pay attention to the actual words used? What are the specific words to describe how you view time?

Busy, exhausted, broken, burnt out, finished, stressed. I have no time; I'm rushing here and going to race over there.

As Tony Robbins says, the word you attach to your experience becomes your experience. Be aware of these words that trigger cortisol and adrenaline stress hormones. Of course, you're entitled to have busy days but be aware of the words you continually use to describe yourself and your life.

The ultimate antidote.

The antidote to time scarcity is contentment.

I don't mean you should sit back and become a spectator of your life but cultivate an attitude of contentment for the moment in front of you.

Your frustration is that you're trying to start the next task halfway through your current one. I don't believe in work/life balance, but I know harmony is attainable.

Harmony is presence minus guilt. When you're working, be all in and focus on your work. Enjoy the time without work guilt when you're with your loved ones.

Time management is choice management – you can decide what activity to focus on and where to place your attention. You can decide the energy you bring to the task and the story you tell yourself.

Even though you're looking at an excel spreadsheet, your mind may be lost in an argument from the morning, or you may be looking at a PowerPoint deck, but your attention is on the fact that you think you're a lousy public speaker.

It's not that you don't have enough time; you're playing the game of the better deal in your mind. You must choose what you will ignore to allow for a time abundance mindset.

I know it feels very zen and something monks can achieve and not you, but you can choose contentment, and when you do, you will begin to experience time abundance.

Here's to owning your day,

Warm wishes

Lori