Reprogram Your Mind: 4 Mantras to Cultivate Calm and Crush Self-Doubt.

Anne Lamott says, 'My mind is a bad neighbourhood; I try not to go there alone.'

For me, this is the essence of Mental Health Awareness Month. It's about creating a sanctuary in our minds rather than a place to avoid.

Our minds are wired for protection, and naturally, it will be on the lookout for what goes wrong and where the potential dangers lie.

We know this is no longer about sabre-tooth tigers, but the technology acts out the same. This time, it's whether the presentation will take me down, whether I will get judged in the next meeting, or whether I should put myself forward for the new role. The stressors are different, but the 'expect the worst' thinking remains unless you know how to interrupt this default pattern.

Stress is caused by habitual thoughts that we are in anger, which sends us into a fight or flight response and pumps all the stress hormones to keep us safe.

What if you could interrupt the stress response so it doesn't escalate to this point, and you can actually generate excitement over the presentation rather than fear?

The good news is that you can do this with a simple tool called a mantra. A mantra can be a word or a phrase you repeat to yourself to redirect your mind away from negative and disempowering thoughts. Here are four of my favourite mantras that refocus my mind when I need it most:

It's on the way.

There's always going to be a gap between putting in the effort and seeing the rewards. When you hear yourself saying, 'You should be there by now, you should have achieved this by now' – basically anytime your inner critic is ranting between the difference between reality and your ideal picture of how life should be – shut it down with this mantra – it's on the way.

It's not lying to yourself or not taking action; it's striving satisfied. It's continuing to pursue your goals with the knowledge and trust that it's on the way. It refers to your version of success.

Now imagine yourself at the place you're dreaming about—when you've gotten 'there'. How would you approach your day, how would you feel, and what would you focus on? Bring that state into your daily routine and remind yourself it's on the way.

We need to first be – then do – so we can have.

It's my time.

Not only do we generate stressful thoughts when facing challenges, but we also self-inflict these stressful thoughts when things are going well.

Think back to the last great presentation you gave or the promotion you received. Rather than acknowledging the win and integrating this into your identity, you tell yourself a story that you're an imposter and that you're not good enough.

Neither of these stories is true and will only take away from your success.

Instead, redirect your thinking with the mantra, "This is my time." It's the culmination of all your years of experience and knowledge that brought you to where you are now.

This is my time, is a validation of yourself and a way to give yourself permission to show up fully and not hold back anymore. It's not arrogance but a deep-seated inner confidence.

I don't mind what happens.

In Oliver Burkemans book, Four Thousand Weeks, he quotes spiritual teacher Jiddu Krishnamurti's answer to managing any anxiety about not knowing what tomorrow brings – I don't mind what happens.

For me, this has been transformational because it removes the need to control and predict the future. I was invited to speak at a large conference, which involved travel and many moving parts.

After I submitted my proposal, my default would have been to get myself in knots about whether or not it would happen and what it would mean when I had zero control over any decisions at that point.

Instead, I told myself – I don't mind what happens. If I get the work, then what a lovely opportunity and if I don't, well, then that's a whole two days I get back in my calendar. The freedom to let go of the 'what ifs" was so liberating.

Here is Oliver Burkeman's take on the mantra:

"Rather, a life spent "not minding what happens" is one lived without the inner demand to know that the future will conform to your desires for it—and thus without having to be constantly on edge as you wait to discover whether or not things will unfold as expected. None of that means we can't act wisely in the present to reduce the chances of bad developments later on. And we can still respond, to the best of our abilities, should bad things nonetheless occur; we're not obliged to accept suffering or injustice as part of the inevitable order of things. But to the extent that we can stop demanding certainty that things will go our way later on, we'll be liberated from anxiety in the only moment it ever actually is, which is this one."

This belongs.

What happens when you experience real stress, such as loss, hurt or disappointment? You can't think your way out of these feelings or push them down.

The mantra that can support you during this painful season is 'this belongs'.

It doesn't take away what you're feeling, but you're giving yourself space to feel what you need to without judgment or making it wrong.

It's compassion for yourself and what you are going through.

You could also amend it to 'this belongs for now', opening up the possibility that it is not permanent. Sometimes, we avoid hard feelings because what if we get stuck there or that is too painful to face? But if they belong now, then you can feel them and let them go when you're ready.

Final thoughts.

What you focus on, you feel.

Rather than focus on negative thoughts or worst-case scenario thinking in the midst of challenges and even the day-to-day situations we face, redirect your mind with these four simple mantras:

·       It's on the way.

·       It's my time.

·       I don't mind what happens.

·       This belongs (now).

Here's to creating a more peaceful neighbourhood,

Warm wishes,

Lori