Self-Remembering: The Only Resolution That Makes Every Other One Possible.

December is finite. There is no turning back; the new year is upon us.

Naturally, December brings reflection (hopefully) but also resolutions about what we want to improve and the goals we think we should set.

But what if, instead of writing a guilt-fuelled list of what you haven’t done—or writing from fear of disappointing yourself—you simplified everything into one big umbrella resolution? One that, if you get it right, takes care of the rest?

Self-remembering.

If I reflect on conversations with my coaching clients this year, their greatest stress almost always came down to a lack of self-remembering. And that lack led to exhaustion, near-burnout, and more stress than you’d care to know about.

Self-remembering is not selfish, and you don’t need to earn it. It’s the meta habit that fuels every goal—personal and professional. You may worry that if you start self-remembering, you’ll lose time from work.

But the deeper truth is: if you don’t start, you’ll lose everything else.

Here are some ways self-remembering can show up:

Self-Care.

Self-remembering begins with honouring yourself enough to schedule time for you—and treating that appointment with the same respect as any other meeting.

All my clients want to improve their health. The ones who struggle are usually the ones who start their day by checking their phones, prioritising unimportant messages, and immediately responding to the world instead of giving themselves even half an hour to ease in.

Self-care isn’t about productivity; it’s about the energy you generate by tending to yourself.

I’ve seen what self-forgetting looks like inventing reasons not to sleep because being busy feels valuable. And yet, by pushing through on five hours a night, they quietly minimise their value every day because they’re never operating at their full capacity. You can function—but you can’t bring your best self.

Whatever your goal is—now or next year—begin by giving yourself permission to take up space in your own calendar. Make the time enjoyable: pair it with music, audiobooks, a podcast, or simply the quiet of being with your own thoughts.

It’s not hard to be healthy, and you never need to feel guilty for putting yourself first. Self-forgetting is easier because you can justify it with work or by pleasing others. Self-remembering asks you to be kind to yourself for no reason at all—to look after yourself without needing to earn it.

What if self-care has nothing to do with discipline and everything to do with kindness?

Emotional Mastery.

For many people, emotions are speed bumps getting in the way of productivity. So we push them down, suppress them—and they leak out later as resentment, irritation, frustration or criticism.

One client believes no one likes sad people, so she stays eternally positive. But because she never asks for help (for fear of being a burden), no one checks in. Underneath the positivity sits disappointment, rejection and resentment.

Self-remembering isn’t about becoming dramatic or overly emotional. It’s about checking in with yourself as you navigate the day and asking:

How do I really feel about this? What do I need right now?

Then name the feeling: I have feelings of anxiety. Not I am anxious. One is identity; the other is an experience. Naming it releases its grip.

Emotions are energy. Let them arrive, feel them, sit with them, and let them go.

As Osnat (Os) Benari beautifully puts it: “Sometimes life gives you lemons, and you just need to sit there with the sour for a while.”

Who Am I at My Best?

When you self-forget long enough, you disconnect from who you really are. You forget what you need.

Self-remembering means asking: Who am I at my best? Then, identifying the clues and bringing back what you’ve abandoned.

For example, a client once told me that her best self was her first year of university—structured days, regular runs, and a sense of confidence. Today, she doesn’t plan her days; her inbox dictates them. She hasn’t exercised in over a year because “work is too busy,” yet it’s always busy.

She realised her lack of structure and time for herself had eroded her confidence. She felt out of control and self-conscious.

So, what about you? Who are you at your best? And what do you need to bring back?

Remembering Your Strengths.

Self-doubt haunts us all. Without intentional reflection, we start believing the unhelpful stories that we’re not good enough and that others see us as incompetent.

Self-remembering asks you to look back at your toughest times and remind yourself that you can do hard things. It’s taking the lesson but dropping the story.

Who are you now because of what you’ve lived through? What traits did you internalise along the way?

If you forget your own highlights reel, you’ll keep doubting yourself because you’ve erased the evidence you need to persevere. You’ll stay silent in meetings, worrying you’ll sound stupid—rather than asking:

What if my comment is the missing piece?

Showing up matters more than being profound. Silence only reinforces the story you’re trying to escape.

Stress.

Stress is an invitation to self-remember.

It asks you: What’s missing? What do I need?

Maybe you can’t change the situation—but you can always choose to self-remember, and that choice is fully within your control.

When you’re stressed, you usually disappear from your own calendar. But the more whole you are, the better you can navigate challenges with strength and grace.

Ask yourself: How can I be kinder to myself today? What would make this a little gentler to navigate? Then give yourself exactly that.

Final Thoughts.

You can’t wait for life to calm down before you self-remember. The fantasy that “when things are quieter, then I’ll take care of myself” never becomes reality. When have you ever said, “Wow, work is incredibly relaxed right now”? Never.

Self-remembering must become part of who you are. Not a switch you flip. A feature you keep turned on.

The practice becomes a daily appointment with yourself that you keep—no matter what.

If this feels foreign, set reminders three times a day. When the alarm goes off, ask: How am I doing right now? What do I need right now?

Self-remembering isn’t something to wait until the 1st of January for. Begin now so you can finish the year strong—without leopard-crawling to the finish line exhausted.

Here’s to new beginnings,

Warm wishes,

Lori