How to Build Better Habits: 5 Strategies That Actually Stick
Your life is the sum of the small choices you make every single day.
Whether it’s reaching for your phone first thing in the morning or committing to a morning ritual that energises you, these micro decisions shape your mindset, your momentum, and ultimately, your results.
Think about it: when you begin your day in reaction mode—scrolling, checking emails, diving headfirst into someone else’s agenda—you start from a place of depletion. But when you choose to begin with intention—whether it’s movement, prayer, journaling, or simply sitting in silence—you create a different energy. An energy that says, I choose me.
The truth? Confidence is built in the moments where no one’s watching. It’s not about grand gestures—it’s about the quiet habit of keeping promises to yourself.
So how do we move from intention to real, sustainable change? Let’s dive into five strategies that make habits stick in the real world.
Start with Identity, Not Just Action.
You don’t need more willpower. You need a new story.
As James Clear puts it, “True behaviour change is identity change.” Instead of forcing yourself to go for a walk, ask: Who am I becoming?
"I'm the kind of person who shows up on time." "I'm the kind of person who honours my commitments." "I'm the kind of person who values energy over excuses."
Each time you act in alignment with this identity, you cast a vote for the person you want to be. Change doesn’t happen because you tried harder—it happens because you saw yourself differently.
Take five minutes to journal this prompt: “I’m the kind of person who…” and finish the sentence based on the habits you’re trying to build. Let that identity guide your choices, especially when motivation is low.
Create Positive Associations with Your Habits.
We’re wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. So if your brain thinks exercise equals punishment or early mornings equal exhaustion, guess what? You’ll resist every time.
Instead, reframe the story. What does this habit give you? Energy? Confidence? A clear mind to lead your team or show up for your family?
I associate my morning movement with feeling strong and energised. I pair it with a podcast or audiobook, so it becomes a double win for mind and body.
Yes, the first few days might feel hard. But stay with it. The magic is on the other side of consistency. Eventually, the discomfort fades, and the habit becomes something you look forward to.
Ask yourself: What pleasure can I link to this new habit? Then reinforce that story every time you follow through.
Study What Already Works for You.
Instead of starting from scratch, look at your current success patterns. What habits have stuck—and why?
For example, my morning training routine is non-negotiable. Here’s why it works:
Dedicated time slot: I treat it like any other important meeting, and it has a fixed place in my calendar.
Clear structure – I know what I’m doing and for how long.
Enjoyment – I combine it with learning, which makes it more engaging.
Consistency over feelings – I don’t wait to feel motivated. I just show up.
Preparation – Everything is ready the night before. No decision fatigue.
Pleasure connection – I feel good afterwards, every time.
Take 10 minutes and reflect: What routines are already working for me? Reverse engineer your own habits and use that formula to build new ones.
Remember—your habits need to work for you, not someone else's version of success. If you’re a night owl, don’t force a 5 AM routine. Start where your energy naturally flows.
Master the Urge, Don’t Obey It.
One of the most liberating truths I’ve ever learned is this: You don’t have to act on every urge.
Amy Johnson, author of The Little Book of Big Change, explains that our habits stick because we respond to the internal nudge—whether it’s a craving, procrastination, or a desire to check out.
Here’s the reframe: urges are just thoughts. And thoughts only have power when we obey them.
So next time you’re tempted to scroll, snack, or skip your commitment, try this:
Pause
Breathe
Acknowledge the urge
Let it pass
Think of it like a wave—you don’t need to surf every one that comes your way. Over time, the urges lose their grip, and you become the one in charge.
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about building the mental muscle to pause and choose differently.
Outgrow Old Habits With Compassion.
Change doesn’t mean you were doing it wrong. It means you’ve outgrown the version of yourself that needed that old habit to cope.
Maybe the procrastinator in you was simply trying to avoid criticism. Maybe the glass of wine after work was your way of decompressing from a world that felt too loud.
You’re not here to shame your past—you’re here to evolve.
Clutter expert, Marie Kondo says to thank items before you let them go. Do the same with your habits. Thank the version of yourself that needed them but now recognise they are standing in the way of your growth and let them go. As Marshall Goldsmith says, "What got you here won't get you there".
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Then choose a new habit that feels energising. Joyful. Empowering.
When your habits reflect who you’re becoming—not who you used to be—you don’t need to force change. It flows naturally.
Final Thoughts: You’re One Micro Choice Away.
You don’t need a perfect plan. You need to make one decision. Then another.
You build confidence not by thinking about change, but by becoming someone who consistently shows up for you.
Start small. Make it obvious. Make it joyful.
And remember: every time you keep a promise to yourself, you strengthen the most powerful habit of all—choosing you.
Because you’re worth it.
Warm wishes,
Lori