The Best Thing I’ve Done For My Headspace is Ditch My To-Do List.

Have You ever had the experience of ordering a bottomless cup of coffee at a restaurant?

You feel content after two cups, but something compels you to go for the third cup. It's not because you want it but because there's a feeling of losing out if you don't maximise your investment.

Suddenly, that last cup has crossed the line between a light caffeine buzz and a dull thud in your head.

It's the same with a to-do list; like that bottomless coffee, you feel compelled to add one more item. There's the illusion that you will feel more productive if you add on one more task, but the reality is that it leaves you overwhelmed with a dull thud in your head.

The difference between the bottomless coffee and your to-do list is clarity. You know you can't order anything except coffee. It's not like the second cup can be substituted with a smoothie and the third a cocktail.

The problem with your to-do list is that it has become one list for all areas of your life. This is why it continues to get longer throughout the day. The next thing that pops into your head goes onto the list, but there is no thought of where it belongs – is it work-related, personal, urgent, or important? Is it relevant?

Rather than a one size fits all approach, how about ditching the to-do list and creating additional options that provide clarity and a variety of choices across all areas of your life? Consider the following:

A success list.

The key differentiator of a success list is that it is short. It should only contain three significant tasks per day. As Stephen Covey says, 'When you have too many top priorities, you effectively have no top priorities.'

These items must be the needle movers for you; accomplishing this task will yield significant momentum towards your goal. Once the task is completed, it will give you a burst of energy and contentment once it's off your plate.

Another way to think about it comes from Tim Ferriss in the 4-Hour Workweek, "what's the one thing you can do that makes all other things easier or irrelevant".

I know it feels like everything belongs on this list, but true productivity happens when you can separate the seemingly urgent from the important.

A To-be list.

What does the to-be list have to do with productivity? Everything! When you think about the goal you want to achieve, whether in your work or personal life, consider who you need to be to make it happen.

What if you could bottle the personality trait you needed to get you there?

Fill in the blank – If I had more_____, I could achieve_________.

Is it more patience, focus, compassion, confidence, playfulness, enthusiasm, energy, and creativity?

When you create your to-be list, you focus on who you are becoming versus who you are now. If you're a procrastinator, that's just who you practised being. Now you have the choice to practice who you want to become.

The point of this list is to remember it's all choice. Choose to focus on who you are becoming. Set an alarm to go off at random times in the day with your three to-be words to trigger you back into the present moment and think about how you can spend the next hour living out one of the words.

If you want to be more focused, turn off the social media notifications. If you want to be more content, take a minute and write down three things you're grateful for.

A To-feel list.

Have you ever considered that it's not only the activities on your calendar that matter but the energy you bring to the tasks? Even more important is to decide how you want to feel at the end of the day. Stressed, overwhelmed and fatigued or energised, content and grateful?

If you want to feel more relaxed, show me the corresponding activity on your calendar. Where did you make time to meditate, read, or go for a walk?

Your calendar is a reflection of your commitments. It's not enough to intend to feel a certain way; you must translate it into action by carving out dedicated space in your calendar. Don't think big; think small. Even ten minutes per day of deliberate action will yield tremendous results.

A To-create list.

When did you last make time to think about the experiences you want to create? Most of us only think about this on birthdays or New Year's Eve.

If you think you don't have time to make this list, then you need this more than most people!

Take a journal, start writing about 'What would excite me?' and then go! Just write whatever comes to your mind, and don't let your rational mind censor you.

Write about the trips you want to take, the skill you want to learn, the race you want to win, the presentations you want to give, the people you would love to work with, the masterpiece you want to put out there, the podcast or book you want to publish, the contribution you want to make to the world.

Once you've made your list, choose one item that stands out the most for you and schedule into your calendar one small action you can take towards it. If you want to write a book, schedule a block of thirty minutes to write.

Replace one day thinking with day one thinking and begin.

A To-you list.

If I gave you the day off, what would you do? This assumes you have no work or personal responsibilities; the day is yours to do as you wish.

This list can include self-care activities like exercise, meditation, and the things you love to do that ignite your soul. It could be baking, painting, scrapbooking, photography, gardening, reading, writing, or interior design.

Why wait for a weekend or a holiday to permit you to do these activities? I have many clients who will happily read on holiday but not during the week because it feels like a waste of time when so much other stuff is happening.

Don't use the holiday as a permission device to be nice to yourself. Schedule time daily for yourself; start with a minimum of fifteen minutes. If you can allow yourself more, please do but at least give yourself fifteen minutes.

If you love interior design, spend time on Pinterest looking at images you can create on the weekend. If you love to travel, spend time researching your next trip or some new restaurants to try in your city.

When you show up on the calendar, you are content. When you don't, you become resentful and constantly wonder why you have no work/life balance.

The ultimate point of a to-you list is twofold: either to realise you are not showing up in the calendar or to permit yourself to put in the things you want.

A To-learn list.

Throughout school and university, you were given the curriculum of what to study to achieve your goals. Now, you get to develop your own life curriculum on your terms.

What would you love to learn about? This isn't only related to work goals and technical skills.

Perhaps you want to know about negotiation skills, personal branding, interpersonal communication, public speaking or nutrition?

There is no excuse not to pursue your to-learn lists; there is so much online available for free and paid-for content.

What would you love to master? What skills could take you to the next level? This time won't magically appear in your calendar; you need to carve out dedicated blocks of time to make it a reality.

Become a time whisperer.

Creating these lists is the path to progress in every area of your life because it generates clarity.

When you know what you want, you can use your time more effectively, especially what I call found time. Let's say a meeting cancels at the last minute, and now you have an hour back in your day.

Pull out your to-create list and use this gift of time for something that matters to you. Don't check more email or your social feeds because before you know it, that hour is gone, and you're into the next meeting.

You become a calendar whisperer when you know what to do with unexpected time. It's not only allowing yourself unexpected gaps but also carving out dedicated space in your calendar to make your goals a reality.

Imagination trumps knowledge.

There is alchemy, a magic that happens when you place a goal on paper – you create the possibility. It moves from a thought to a tangible form; the only prerequisite is a bit of imagination.

To be imaginative, you must see beyond what is in front of you. You need to be willing to see things that may or may not be "real" or "true" but could be if you only allow yourself the space and permission.

Being imaginative about your future means believing you can do and be things others can't see. As Benjamin Hardy says in Be Your Future Self Now, 'Everything you do can be categorised as either a cost to or an investment in your Future Self'.

Where to from here? I know you have all kinds of ideas bubbling up to the surface. Don't think to yourself; it's a great idea, and then default to check your email. Choose one item and make time in your calendar to make this dream a reality.

Your biggest challenge is to value unmade work and the things that truly matter to you.

As the author, Peter Bregman says:

'Here's the key: you need to spend time on the future even when there are more important things to do in the present and even when there is no immediately and apparent return to your efforts. In other words – and this is the hard part – if you want to be productive, you need to spend time doing things that feel ridiculously unproductive'.

Here's to your bigger future,

Warm wishes

Lori