Change Demands a Price: Are You Willing to Fire Your Old Self?
The gap between where you are and where you want to be exists in the delicate dance between your current self and your future self.
A successful dance requires rhythm and understanding—with one partner leading and the other following. When this coordination fails, so does the dance.
Let's apply this metaphor to your life journey.
The Dance Between Two Selves.
If you're not where you aspire to be, consider what your current self is doing—or failing to do—that's preventing the success you envision.
Now, imagine yourself three years into the future. If life were exactly as you wished it to be, what would you see? Who is this remarkable future version of you? What habits have they cultivated? What choices do they make consistently? What energy do they bring that has enabled them to create the reality you're constantly striving toward?
By definition, you've approved of this future self because they've manifested the life you desire.
Moving from your present reality to your desired future requires a harmonious dance between these two versions of yourself. And like any dance partnership, one must lead while the other follows.
If you're currently surrendering to instant gratification—hitting snooze repeatedly, procrastinating on important tasks, avoiding necessary actions—your current self is leading this dance, forcing your future self to follow a path they never chose.
When you neglect your health, overwork yourself, make excessive commitments, or ignore essential self-care, your future self bears the consequences of these choices.
Doesn't it make more sense for your future self to lead this dance, with your current self following their wiser direction?
Your Future Self Is Always Watching.
If you've already approved of this future self, why not use them as motivation for today's choices?
When I face a challenging article or presentation and catch myself avoiding the task, I imagine my future self watching me with disappointment, wishing I would simply begin because completing the work would benefit us both.
This simple mental shift is often enough to propel me from avoidance into productive action. Invariably, I will feel happier and more energised once I start working on that proposal or presentation.
As entrepreneur Derek Sivers points out, if this theory worked flawlessly, we'd all be billionaires with six-pack abs. We generally know what actions would benefit us, and our future selves would certainly appreciate better choices in critical moments. Yet we repeatedly default to patterns of behaviour, emotional responses, and thought processes that sabotage our progress.
In other words, our current self continues leading the dance, moving out of rhythm and stepping on our future self's toes at every turn.
Identifying Your Saboteur Self.
Here's where things become more nuanced: we don't have just one "current self" but multiple versions, typically connected to different roles or times of day.
Entrepreneur Bryan Johnson distinguishes between his "morning Bryan" and "evening Bryan." For him, evening Bryan had seized control of the dance, ultimately resulting in severe burnout and depression.
After identifying the culprit, Johnson needed to remove evening Bryan from the decision-making lead and empower morning Bryan instead.
This shift transformed his life completely—he's now considered among the world's healthiest individuals and has reportedly reversed aspects of his ageing process. While I'm not necessarily advocating his entire "Blueprint" methodology, I find his story compelling because it illustrates how profoundly our lives can change when we identify and replace the version of ourselves that's sabotaging our progress.
Here's how Bryan described identifying his self-sabotaging version:
"For me, it was 7 pm Bryan, who would eat everything in sight to try and momentarily escape life's pain. He is a monster, overpowering and indifferent about all other Bryans' needs. A sweet talker and expert rationalizer. 7 pm Bryan ruins life quality for all other Bryans:
· awful sleep
· overweight
· poor health
· accelerated ageing disease
· turbulent emotions
· depressing life outlook
The solution: revoking 7 pm Bryan's authority to eat food."
Bryan offers this process:
Step 1: Identify your 20% rascal—the version of you causing 80% of your problems
Step 2: Create a clear list of what decisions they are and are not authorised to make
Step 3: Wait for them to appear in your daily life
Step 4: Approve or deny their requests using your Step 2 boundaries
Step 5: Celebrate when you successfully prevent self-sabotage
As Bryan notes, "Believe it or not, this is your most consequential and powerful life intervention."
Finding Your Saboteur Self.
It's your turn to identify which version of yourself is holding you back.
Visualise what an ideal average day would look like from waking until sleeping. Now, honestly, compare this ideal day with your current reality.
When do you typically make choices that undermine your goals? Is it morning-you who repeatedly hits the snooze button?
Perhaps it's afternoon-you who, sleep-deprived and running on empty without breaks, lashes out at unsuspecting colleagues or family members? Is it this afternoon self who gravitates toward unhealthy snacks in a desperate attempt to generate energy?
You cannot interrupt patterns you don't recognise. You can only create meaningful change once you've identified which version of yourself is responsible for your self-sabotage.
As Christopher Heuertz, author of The Sacred Enneagram, wisely observes: "If we can't self-observe, then we can't self-correct."
This process requires accepting all aspects of yourself without judgment. From this place of compassionate self-awareness, you can strategically reclaim power from the parts of you clinging to counterproductive habits.
Understanding the Good Intention Behind Bad Habits.
Consider why you've developed self-sabotaging behaviours. Every behaviour, even destructive ones, begins with a positive intent for self-protection.
If you consistently avoid challenging opportunities, you're trying to shield yourself from judgment and potential failure. While this protection might feel necessary in the moment, it ultimately doesn't serve your future self, as it prevents valuable learning experiences, opportunities, and personal growth.
Now that you've identified the version of you that's holding you back, it's time to compassionately fire or retire them.
You might give this self a name and genuinely thank them for their service. Acknowledge that to reach your full potential, someone else needs to take control and stop leading this dance.
The more empowered version of your current self must become comfortable with uncertainty and allow your future self to take the lead.
Embracing Self-Compassion in Transformation.
Viewing your actions through this perspective allows for greater self-forgiveness and compassion.
What you're really discovering is a third force running the show—the outdated version of yourself holding onto past comforts and familiar patterns.
Remember, this version did its best with the resources available at the time. Now that you know better, you can do better.
This may sound like tough love, but to close the gap between your present reality and your aspirations, you must fire or retire your previous self—or send them on a permanent sabbatical.
It's time to hire a new, current version of yourself who willingly allows your future self to lead the dance into uncertainty, discomfort, and the transformative change you seek.
Here's to the dance of life,
Warm wishes,
Lori