The Resistance: Why We Avoid What Truly Matters.
Have you ever had something really important to get done — not for other people, but for you?
And then… when it’s time to do it, you suddenly become incredibly committed to reorganising your desktop, filing emails, or doing something completely irrelevant — while still managing to justify why it’s “important”.
That’s resistance.
I’m not the first person to write about it. Steven Pressfield captured it brilliantly in The War of Art. It’s one thing to understand the concept, and another to catch yourself mid–strange little dance of avoidance.
I met resistance again recently when I started a new writing project. I’ve had the idea for ages — but the moment I needed to begin, I found myself inventing excuses. I wasn’t doubting the idea. I was doubting me.
Knowing resistance will show up is step one. Having a strategy to move through it is step two. Here are a few thoughts and tools that can help.
Be the witness.
“We cannot self-correct what we cannot observe.” — Christopher Heuertz
The first shift is noticing the pattern as it happens. If you’re not consciously aware you’re avoiding, it’s almost impossible to interrupt the loop.
Notice when you let your phone hijack you with emails, WhatsApps, or a quick scroll.
Notice when you’re “researching” just a little longer so you can feel more ready.
Notice when you start justifying doing something else when the plan was the task.
And when you catch yourself: pause. Breathe. Then (gently) laugh.
Tell yourself: I can see what you’re doing. You can have five more minutes — then we begin.
Be okay with not knowing.
Avoidance often grows in the space of uncertainty.
Progress requires you to spend time in the messy middle. When I’m building a new presentation, I throw everything in — all the ideas that could belong — and then, slide by slide, I remove what doesn’t. That first draft is always chaotic. It lacks structure. It isn’t clear yet. And that’s not a problem — it’s the process.
This writing project was the same. I started by listing headings. Then I wrote a few lines under each. Then the shape began to emerge. Only once something exists can you move it around, refine it, and craft it properly.
So give yourself permission to start before it makes sense.
Done is better than perfect. Starting beats delay — every time.
Think in micro wins.
If you know my work, you know I’m a devoted advocate of micro wins. The question is simple:
What is the smallest first step I can take today?
Sometimes the micro win is not the work itself — it’s creating the container for the work.
Put a slot in your calendar that is dedicated to your project. That’s a visible declaration: I matter enough to make time for this.
Then show up to the slot. Don’t bargain it away.
Write one sentence. Read one paragraph. Journal two lines. Take one mindful breath. Do the smallest thing that lets you say: I started.
Once you’re moving, don’t wait to “feel like it”. Ask yourself: What’s the next step, now?
Remember: it’s not permanent.
A few years ago, I would have been terrified of a writing project — afraid it wouldn’t be perfect, afraid I’d forget something, afraid it wouldn’t be good enough.
Now the more evolved version of me knows this truth: this is version one.
It’s not permanent. Even the best authors refine. Even the greatest products get updated, improved, re-released, and expanded. There will always be room to evolve what you’re building — but only if you build something in the first place.
Don’t let an imaginary final version become a barrier to a real beginning.
Invest 30 minutes.
If you find yourself delaying, set a timer for 30 minutes and work — no negotiation.
It may feel too small to matter, but you’ll be amazed at what can happen in a short space of dedicated, uninterrupted time.
I use this when I’m waiting for my kids at extracurricular lessons. I could scroll for half an hour… or I could write, read, plan, or draft an article. You don’t need hours at a time to make progress.
You need focused attention and deliberate practice — in the pockets of time you already have.
Manage the environment of distraction.
Some distractions shout: email notifications, phone pings, open tabs.
Other distractions whisper: your mental to-do list, the email you forgot to send, the unfinished admin floating around your mind.
Remind yourself: this is your time — those things can wait. Nothing is going to collapse in half an hour.
And if mental distractions are stealing your attention, get them out of your head and onto paper. Write down everything worrying you.
Even better: take that list and schedule it — date, time, and place. Lock it into your diary so your mind can stop holding the weight of remembering.
If you don’t manage your mental and physical distractions, they will manage you.
What’s the real fear?
Resistance usually shows up because deep down, you feel you have something to lose.
Maybe you fear being judged.
Maybe you fear not being perfect.
Maybe you fear not living up to the identity of “the one who knows”.
Once again: make the invisible visible.
When you name the fear, you stop being pushed around by it. You can start making friends with it, instead of letting it run your life from the shadows.
I’ve created a colouring calendar for my clients every year since 2022. Each year has a theme, and every month includes a mini workshop — plus mandala colouring for stress relief and calm. Last year, I noticed I had major resistance to starting the new one.
When I looked deeper, I realised the fear was simple: what if it’s not as good as last year?
Naming it didn’t remove the doubt — but it gave me permission to say: It’s okay to think that… and I’m not letting that thought drive the decision.
The result? People received their 2026 calendars with glowing feedback.
So ask yourself: what’s the task you’re avoiding — and what fear is driving it?
You don’t need to fix it. You only need to acknowledge it. Then decide: is this fear true… or just familiar?
Your future self will thank you.
One of the strongest motivators is your future self — the person you’re becoming.
Picture yourself one year from now: healthier, steadier, more confident, more peaceful, more alive. That version of you didn’t appear by accident — they were built through small choices, repeated.
Now, when I start delaying, I imagine my future self saying:
How am I meant to achieve your goals when you haven’t even started? What am I meant to work with?
And that’s real leverage — because the person I need to be accountable to is me.
When you play the resistance game, remember who you’re letting down long-term.
Your future self is always watching. Make them proud.
Final thoughts.
Resistance is the feeling that shows up right before growth. It’s you reaching for your phone when you know you’re meant to be focusing. It’s the sudden urgency of anything-but-this.
The way forward is simple — not easy, but simple:
Notice the pattern.
Interrupt it with real action.
Remember, nothing is permanent.
Name the fear.
Think in micro wins.
Act in micro bursts.
Reward your future self.
And here’s the truth: the life you want is waiting on the other side of the work you keep postponing.
Here’s to your growth,
Warm wishes
Lori