There is No Degree For “Live Your Dreams.”

“Give yourself permission to make the story bigger.”- Jay Baer

What do the following have in common?

  • A piece of paper – a degree, certification, diploma

  • A business partner

  • Illness

  • Anonymity

In one way or another, these are all permission devices.

  • A degree provides internal satisfaction, courage and perceived credibility to tackle a new role or position (which could easily be achieved without it)

  • A business partner provides the confidence to start a new business or take a risk

  • Illness provides permission to make necessary lifestyle changes

  • Anonymity gives permission to be who you truly are – say being in a new country or writing under a pseudonym

What goal or dream has been burning inside you for ages, but you haven’t given yourself permission to act?

Perhaps you’ve convinced yourself you are not ready or have a laundry list of similar excuses holding you back.

I want to share with you my story about a permission device to act on a dream:

One day or day 1…

“You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays.”- Meredith Willson

I always wanted to write a book, but I had no idea where to begin.

I reached out to a well-known journalist I had worked with for some advice as she had published several books successfully.

We met for coffee and she shared her experience on how I could get started. I also asked her what voice recorder she uses for her interviews because I knew I wanted to incorporate stories and insights from leading South African women.

I left this meeting elated and felt so inspired to get going on the project.

However, I convinced myself that I cannot possibly begin until this recorder arrives. Three weeks go by and it finally reaches my front door.

I take the package inside, unwrap it and stare at it for a while.

I then slip it very gently into a drawer and invent the next reason why I can’t possibly start writing this book.

In that moment, I realised 3 powerful things:

  1. My excuses meant my fear was winning

  2. No one was coming to give me permission to begin

  3. Fundamentally, I had not given myself permission to call myself a writer or shift my identity to the kind of person who can do things like this.

What is your recorder equivalent?

Don’t tell yourself you need to read a stack of books or do a bunch of courses first.

Beware of telling yourself you need a partner or a piece of paper to give you a false sense of security.

Don’t let the fear win.

Give yourself permission to start even if you have no idea what the end result is going to be.

All you can do is show up and act despite the fear and self-doubt.

Mind the gap: taking the leap to action

“Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.” —John C. Maxwell

The missing ingredient to bridge the gap between permission and action is decision.

Author, Benjamin Hardy shares his experience on seeking permission:

“I waited a few years too long to actively start writing. I was waiting for the right moment when I’d have enough time, money, and whatever else I thought I needed. I was waiting until I was somehow qualified or had permission to do what I wanted to do.

But you are never pre-qualified.

There is no degree for “Live your dreams.”

You qualify yourself by showing up and working.

You get permission by deciding.”

Final thoughts

“12 years from now, your future self is going to thank you for something you did today, for an asset you began to build, a habit you formed, a seed you planted. Even if you’re not sure of where it will lead, today’s the day to begin” – Seth Godin

Be honest with yourself about what you want to achieve and why you aren’t showing up to yourself.

Create a permission audit and analyze your excuses.

Are they legitimate?

A piece of paper will not miraculously give you the courage to apply for a new role. You will still feel inadequate even with the piece of paper.

Make the decision to go for it and begin with the smallest step.

Repeated action and experience over time is what will develop your confidence.

The only permission you need to move forward is the permission from yourself.

Here’s to deciding,

Warm wishes

Lori

 

 

 

Lori Milner