You Aren’t An Imposter; You Are Uncertain.

The hardest thing about growth is the feeling of discomfort that comes with it.

We all need to feel certain, in control and confident in our abilities but to evolve; you must embrace uncertainty.

Whether it is your first job or fifth, this feeling doesn't disappear.

When you get promoted into a new role, especially managing people, a new dilemma arises because you need time to learn the role. Still, you fear being judged or seen as incompetent until you close the gap.

While in this uncomfortable phase, you label yourself an imposter and believe you shouldn't feel like this. You believe you should be able to do it immediately with no discomfort for some absurd reason.

When my son was seven, he asked for a guitar. We arranged one from a friend, excited that he's exploring his creativity. He picks up the guitar, starts strumming along, and then bursts into tears, frustrated that he can't play music.

In his mind, he would pick up the guitar and be able to play music perfectly, with no training required. He assumed he could do it. You can smile reading this, feel sorry for the little boy, and think, 'How could he possibly expect himself to know music without prior exposure or practice?'.

Well, the same is true for you. Instead of applying empathy to yourself, like you would my son, you label yourself an imposter because you expect yourself to be proficient in a new position from day one.

You aren't an imposter; you are uncomfortable.

It's called leaving your comfort zone for a reason; rather than resist this feeling, embrace it. Consider this analogy to help you make sense of this initial discomfort when transitioning into a new role:

Phase 1 - The Tourist.

Think about the first time you travelled somewhere new; it was an emotional roller coaster. You were excited and apprehensive because you didn't know what to expect.

You were utterly over-prepared and bought every book and downloaded many apps. You took every precaution and are so nervous about getting lost that taking public transport can be a completely overwhelming experience – what if you miss your stop? What if you get off at the wrong station?

The fun thing about being a tourist is that mistakes turn into discoveries. You were overjoyed at your mistake when you took the wrong street and found the hidden 'hole in the wall', a local culinary gem.

You have lists for your lists to ensure you use your time wisely and tick all the boxes on what you are 'supposed' to see and do in this city. You are driven more by FOMO (fear of missing out) than what you genuinely want to explore.

Phase 2 – The Local.

Over time, you become more familiar with and discover all the shortcuts. Your once-new city has become natural for you, so your confidence increases. You are comfortable taking risks and trying new things because you know what to expect.

Something like public transport, which used to paralyse you with fear, is now your new normal, and you can easily navigate the city.

You are more open to allowing the days to unfold and see what you feel like each day instead of planning every minute in the fear that you don't maximise your time.

Phase 3 – The Guide.

You are now the expert, and people contact you for advice and guidance on things that used to be so foreign to you.

As a guide, you can now teach others and lead the way for them. Your failures and experiences are your most outstanding teachers, and where you can now pass on the wisdom to others and fast-track their journeys.

As a guide, you share your knowledge openly and can identify yourself in them and where you once began.

As a guide, you can empower and encourage others to move beyond their comfort zones with the knowledge that they have your full support.

What phase are you in?

Think back to your first role or when you began your current position. Initially, you were the tourist where everything was overwhelming, and it felt like you would never get the hang of it.

Fast forward a few months, and you merged into the local. You found better ways to do your work, and as things became more comfortable, your level of responsibility increased.

As you become more experienced in your role, you transcend into a guide. You lead a team, or people come to you for guidance and advice.

The next time you want to move from your comfort zone to your courage zone, remind yourself that you are not an imposter but just in the tourist phase. Remember, this initial discomfort is a phase because you have proved to yourself that with time and experience, things will eventually gravitate into a local phase for you.

You are not an imposter – you are meant to feel overwhelmed and out of your depth. That's growth – you are not deceiving anyone, you are moving forward, and it has to be uncomfortable. That's the nature of moving into the unknown and unexplored territory.

You will reach the phase of a guide at some point, and the insecurities fade away. Of course, you will experience self-doubt, but it's a healthy dose. It's not the debilitating kind that prevents you from moving to your full potential and keeps you playing small.

Final thoughts.

When you feel overwhelmed, take a step back and remind yourself what phase you are in. No matter how uncomfortable it feels, remember that nothing is permanent.

It becomes more manageable when you can allow yourself to be a beginner again and enjoy the process because you know what to expect now.

The only way to promote yourself to the next phase is by going through the discomfort. Author Tony Robbins reminds us that the quality of your life is proportional to how much uncertainty you can comfortably manage.

The best way to be comfortable with discomfort is to focus on the process, not the outcome.

The joy is in the daily journey; if you went from tourist to guide overnight, you would miss all the lessons and who you are becoming on the way. The mistakes, stumbles, and downright failures provide the substance of your experience and the stories you can share so others can fast-track your learning.

In the words of Seth Godin,

"When we embrace imposter syndrome instead of working to make it disappear, we choose the productive way forward. The imposter is proof that we're innovating, leading and creating."

Here's to being certainly uncertain,

Warm wishes

Lori