From Perfectionism to Fear: The Real Reasons You Keep Putting Things Off.

We're quick to label procrastinators as lazy or irresponsible. But like an iceberg, what we see on the surface – the delayed action – is just a tiny fraction of what's really going on.

Beneath the surface lies a complex web of emotions, thoughts, and self-protective behaviours. Instead of rushing to judgment when we notice procrastination in others (or ourselves), what if we approached it with curiosity?

Through my experience coaching C Suite to Executives to entrepreneurs, I've discovered that procrastination is about more than poor time management or lack of discipline. It's a window into our deeper fears and patterns.

When we understand what truly drives our procrastination habit, we can make different choices in the moment. Here are some of the key drivers keeping this habit alive:

The fear of not being perfect.

Many wear perfectionism as a badge of honour, proudly announcing it in job interviews or casual conversations. But here's the uncomfortable truth: perfectionism isn't a superpower – it's often a sophisticated form of procrastination.

The Impossible Standard.

Think about it: When was the last time you could define what "perfect" actually looks like? When I ask my clients this question, they pause and admit they don't know. They're chasing a standard that exists only in their minds yet remains frustratingly undefined. It's like trying to reach a horizon that keeps moving further away with each step.

Procrastination in Disguise.

That report you've revised seventeen times? Those endless tweaks to a presentation? That's not thoroughness – it's perfectionism masquerading as productivity. Behind this behaviour lurks the haunting question: "Am I enough?" Accompanied by its close companions: fear of judgment and fear of mistakes.

Breaking Free from the Perfect Prison.

Here's the liberating truth: mistakes aren't your enemy – they're your teachers. Each misstep shows you what doesn't work, building your expertise through experience. Remember, making a mistake once is learning; making it twice is a choice.

The Excellence Alternative.

The solution isn't lowering your standards – it's shifting your focus from perfection to excellence. Here's the difference:

- Perfection is paralysing

- Excellence is energising

- Perfection is unattainable

- Excellence is achievable

Perhaps the cruellest twist? In trying to avoid judgment by being perfect, perfectionists often create the very situation they fear most. When you're consistently late delivering work because it's "not perfect yet," colleagues don't see your high standards – they see missed deadlines and unfulfilled commitments.

Embrace this mantra: Done is better than perfect. Set high standards, but recognise that different tasks require different levels of polish. Focus your energy where it truly matters, and learn to let go of the rest.

Your reputation will thank you – and so will your mental health.

The fear of judgement.

Self-doubt isn't just an occasional visitor – it's often the mastermind behind our procrastination.

Picture this: you're faced with a decision, and suddenly, your mind becomes an endless loop of "what ifs." You convince yourself that just one more piece of information, one more analysis, and one more perspective will finally give you the certainty you crave. But here's the twist: that certainty never comes.

The real story isn't about finding the perfect solution – it's about what we fear others might think of us. There's a painful irony here: in our desperate attempt to avoid appearing incompetent, we often create exactly that impression.

By delaying action until we're "absolutely sure," we risk being seen as someone who can't deliver – the very perception we're trying to avoid.

Breaking the Overthinking Cycle.

When your mind feels like a circus of competing thoughts, it's time to step back and create more spacious time to think. This isn't about adding more analysis; it's about finding clarity through:

- Mindful journaling to untangle your thoughts

- Meditation to quiet the mental chatter

- Deliberate moments of stillness to let insights surface naturally

Rather than procrastinating, seek guidance and advice from those who can support you. We also delay because we believe that first, we must solve the dilemma, and then it's OK to reach out to others.

Here's a liberating truth: you don't need to solve everything alone before seeking help. Reach out early. Connect with mentors, colleagues, or trusted advisors who can offer guidance. The strongest leaders aren't those who have all the answers – they're the ones who know when and how to seek support.

Remember: Action, even imperfect action, beats perfect paralysis every time.

The Fear of Disconnection.

We often think of procrastination in terms of deadlines and tasks, but perhaps its most powerful grip takes hold in our relationships. That crucial conversation you've been putting off? That difficult feedback you need to deliver? Behind this delay lies one of our most primal fears: the fear of disconnection.

Picture this: A message needs to be delivered. Maybe it's telling a client about a missed deadline or sharing tough feedback with a colleague. Your mind races:

- "What if the client terminates our contract?"

- "What if my colleague never trusts me again?"

- "What if this permanently damages our relationship?"

So you wait. And wait. Convincing yourself that tomorrow will somehow be easier, that you're "choosing the right moment." But in reality, you're choosing temporary comfort over relationship integrity.

The Peace-Keeper's Dilemma.

For many, especially those who value harmony, the prospect of disrupting peace feels almost physically painful. The logic seems sound: avoid the conversation and maintain the peace. Keep things smooth on the surface, even as tension bubbles underneath.

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy.

Here's the cruel irony: in trying to protect our relationships through avoidance, we often damage them more deeply than the difficult conversation ever could. When we withhold information or delay important discussions:

- Trust erodes silently

- Respect diminishes gradually

- The very disconnection we fear becomes reality

Breaking the Cycle.

Remember this truth: Being reliable doesn't mean always bringing good news. It means being trustworthy enough to bring any news when it matters. Sometimes, you're just the messenger, and that's OK. The outcome might be beyond your control, but your integrity in the moment is always within it.

To make this conversation easier and to retain relationship integrity, tell the person what you can do for them, along with what you couldn't deliver on. Give them certainty by committing to regular feedback, even if you don't have the solution, and at least the person knows they are being seen and heard. This will go a long way in retaining trust and even strengthening the relationship.

The strongest relationships aren't built on perpetual harmony but on honest communication – even when it's uncomfortable. Especially when it's uncomfortable.

The hidden payoff.

Procrastination offers us a seductive bargain: immediate comfort in exchange for future pain. Like a credit card of emotions, we swipe for instant relief, knowing the interest rates are astronomical. Yet we keep swiping.

The Genius of Avoidance.

Yes, you read that right – procrastination is genius. Not because it's helpful, but because our minds brilliantly engineer it to shield us from our deepest fears:

- The crushing weight of perfectionism

- The sting of potential incompetence

- The ache of possible rejection

It's a masterful defence mechanism that promises protection but delivers paralysis.

While we tell ourselves stories about boring tasks or time constraints, the truth runs deeper. What looks like simple avoidance is often a complex web of self-protection, limiting beliefs, and unconscious patterns.

Breaking Free: The Power of the Pause.

The key to breaking this cycle isn't fighting it – it's understanding it. The next time you feel the pull of procrastination, pause and ask yourself:

·       "What am I really avoiding here?"

·       "What story am I telling myself about completing this task?"

·       "What's the true cost of my delay?"

Remember: Starting isn't about feeling ready. It's about being willing to feel uncomfortable and moving forward anyway. The antidote to procrastination isn't perfect action – it's imperfect action taken consistently.

Take that first small step. Then another. And another. In the end, progress isn't made in grand gestures but in small moments of choosing action over avoidance.

The discomfort you feel facing a task today is nothing compared to the discomfort of carrying it with you tomorrow.

Here’s to the habit of starting,

Warm wishes,

Lori