Growth Isn’t Always Obvious: Signs You’ve Evolved Without Even Realising.

How Do You Know You’ve Grown?

How do we measure growth, especially the kind that doesn’t come with certificates, promotions, or applause?

When there’s something tangible to reflect on, like completing a certification or course, it’s easier to notice how far you’ve come. You can see how your knowledge has deepened, or how you now navigate group dynamics with greater ease, areas that may have once been challenging.

But in the absence of academic or structured growth, do you pause to notice that you’re not the same person you were five years ago — or even one year ago?

When we’re not paying attention, growth is often quiet. Slow. Internal. It doesn’t arrive with a grand entrance. It just settles in — subtly, and often in the background.

In my coaching conversations, this topic frequently arises. Clients share moments that reflect something deeper:

“I used to get caught in my head and spin stories about what someone must be thinking about me. I’d play out entire arguments in my mind, then become passive-aggressive without realising it. Now, I can take a step back, calm myself, and respond with clarity.”

Or:

“I used to feel the need to take control — tell everyone what to do, lead from the front. But now, I wait. I listen. I let others speak first. And the responses are remarkable.”

These are the moments where growth reveals itself.

I often reflect on when I began my training and speaking career back in 2011. I can see how much I’ve grown in confidence and self-trust.

In the beginning — and even a few years in — I would overprepare. I needed to memorise every line, every story, every point, afraid I’d forget something important and lose my place.

Now, my preparation looks very different. I think intentionally about what I want the audience or team to take away. I review the content, make tweaks where needed, and trust that I know the material well enough to let it flow.

I’ve asked myself: Am I doing enough? Should I be doing more? But the answer is in the growth itself. The work has become part of me. I trust that the right message will come through. What’s even more fascinating is how stories I haven’t thought about in years come back to me at the exact right moment, often landing even better than what I had planned.

Here are a few other signs of growth you may not have noticed — or maybe now take for granted:

• You pause before responding.

• You listen more than you speak.

• You stop chasing validation.

• You say “no” without guilt.

• People seek you out.

• You’re no longer prepping to prove; you’re showing up to serve.

• People don’t cancel your meetings — they value your presence.

Time to Reflect:

How do you know you’ve grown?

Not just in terms of achievements or income, but real, personal growth. Character growth. Who you were, versus who you are becoming.

Here are a few ways to reflect:

1. From External to Internal.

Growth often shows up when we stop needing external validation to feel worthy. You stop “plugging into” others to feel charged, and instead learn to recharge yourself. You begin defining success on your own terms.

2. Silence is Strength.

There was a time when silence felt like weakness. Like you were losing ground if you didn’t respond quickly or assert dominance. Now, you recognise that slowing down is how you hold power. There’s strength in pausing before responding — in observing, not reacting.

3. Growth is Saying No.

Real growth is knowing that you can’t pour from an empty cup. It’s honouring your rest, your energy, your peace. It’s not just saying no to others, but saying no to the things that distract you from what matters. Sometimes, it’s even saying no to yourself — to your habits, impulses, and busy-work.

4. Slowing Down to Speed Up.

For me, growth is realising that doing a few meaningful things well is far more valuable than ticking off an endless to-do list.

Growth is being content with a “quietly productive” day, even if it doesn’t look impressive on paper.

It’s allowing myself a slower afternoon after a full week, watching my kids play sports with a present mind, not mentally compiling the next task list. Those moments of true connection? That’s growth. It may not show up on a spreadsheet, but I feel it. Do I get it right every day? Of course not. But when I do — it’s everything.

5. Moving Into Trust.

This one’s tricky. You don’t always realise it’s happening. But slowly, you begin to trust the timing of your life. You stop forcing, pushing, striving in every moment. You hold space for what’s meant for you. You no longer need to control every outcome. That’s not resignation — it's surrender, and that’s maturity.

Final Thoughts:

Growth doesn’t always feel like a breakthrough. Sometimes, it’s just the absence of reaction, the presence of peace, or the quiet confidence of knowing you no longer need to prove yourself.

Keep noticing. Keep reflecting. You’ve likely grown in more ways than you give yourself credit for.

Here's to the next version of you,

Warm wishes,

Lori