How to Be The Architect of Your Life, Not The Manager of Your Minutes.

What if you could transform yourself from a manager of minutes to a lifestyle architect?

Most of us spend our lives frantically checking boxes on endless to-do lists, seeing each day as just another hurdle to clear before the weekend. But what if there's a better way?

Being the architect of your life means making deliberate choices about how you invest your time. Instead of just "getting through" the week, how can you design each day with intention, creating a lifestyle you never want to escape from?

This isn't about naive positivity—it's about recognising that even within our busiest schedules, we have opportunities to design moments that energise rather than deplete us.

The reality is that not every day will be rolled out according to our perfect plan or stress-free. However, there are pockets—sometimes even just slivers—of time when you have control and can cultivate joy for yourself. I practice what I preach, following a simple formula that helps me create days I genuinely love.

And on days that don't go according to plan? I still have those intentional moments that keep me anchored and present on my own calendar, not just everyone else's.

Find space.

The most common phrase I hear from my clients is 'I don't have time'. After a little investigation, I discovered that there are typically a good thirty minutes in the morning from accumulated snooze buttons, two hours in the evening for watching Netflix, and countless minutes scattered throughout the day scrolling through social media—often adding up to two hours or more.

If you conduct an honest time audit, where in your day do you fall into these comfort traps? They're not just habits—they're often distractions from discomfort and unconscious anxiety management tools.

Even if you reclaim just thirty minutes from these hidden time pockets, you can reinvest them into activities that yield a greater return on your well-being and create more peace of mind in your day.

Shift your narrative.

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, says that true behaviour change is identity change, and I couldn't agree more.

It's not about going for a run but calling yourself a runner. It's not about meditating occasionally but seeing yourself as a meditator. You don't just like photography; you're a photographer. This shift from noun to verb creates powerful momentum.

I had my own journey with identity narratives. Previously, I structured my gym time at 5 a.m., which meant waking around 4:20 a.m. There was a certain pride in being one of the "5am'ers" starting the day while the world slept. It felt significant and aligned with what I heard successful people doing on various business podcasts.

But this early start meant I consistently missed my meditation and journaling practice. By the time I returned from the school run, I jumped straight into work, justifying why it was OK to skip my essential practices again.

If I'm honest with you (and myself), despite this internal pride about my early wake-up time, I was essentially a zombie by 8 p.m. This became especially problematic as my children got older and their bedtimes shifted later. Family time felt like torture because I could barely keep my eyes open. The result? I became a grumpy, tired person with a short fuse—far from my best self.

After a long conversation with myself, I realised I was being incongruent. I wasn't taking my own advice to clients about living by design rather than default, and I was sacrificing the practices that are fundamental to my success formula.

For some, meditation and journaling might feel like luxury activities, but for me, they're oxygen. I knew I needed to make a radical change to my morning routine.

I adjusted my wake-up time to 5 a.m. (giving myself more sleep), prioritised meditation and journaling first thing before waking the kids for school at 6 a.m., shifted my exercise to 7 a.m., and started work by 9 a.m. instead of 8:30 a.m.

On paper, I "lost" thirty minutes of work time. In reality, I gained immeasurable focus, presence, and joy.

Give yourself permission.

It's one thing to design a new plan; it's an entirely different challenge to allow yourself to live it without the vicious chatter of your inner critic telling you you're lazy or not doing what you "should."

After several weeks of my redesigned routine, I did feel noticeably better—more focused, calmer, and genuinely happier.

But the journey there wasn't straightforward. My inner critic showed no mercy, constantly whispering that I was being lazy and self-indulgent by taking two hours for myself at the start of each day.

I initially bought into these criticisms and found myself cutting this time short to feel "efficient and successful." However, I persevered through the discomfort and gradually gave myself permission to embrace and enjoy this change.

The most significant shift came through identity change. I realised that my values had evolved. Instead of valuing significance and tying my self-worth to a 4:20 am wake-up call, I now prioritised connection, growth, and contribution.

By giving myself more time to rest and including practices that make me a better person, I could give more—not less—to myself, my clients, and my family.

Don't give the inner critic airtime.

Let me be clear: I am not a superwoman, and I definitely don't get it right every day. Even with my carefully designed calendar, there are mornings when my inner critic pipes up: "You don't need to journal today. What a waste of time—why aren't you doing 'real work' instead?"

When work pressures mount, I often fall into this trap, thinking, "Let me get started on client notes rather than 'waste' time journaling."

Yet through consistent trial and error, I know with absolute certainty that twenty minutes of focused writing gives me hours of presence, clarity, and sometimes even solutions to challenging problems.

Think about what activity you need, even if it initially feels like you're wasting time or being indulgent. Often, it's activities like baking, painting, drawing, sketching, playing music, swimming, dancing—whatever brings you joy and lights you up from the inside.

What feels like indulgence is exactly what's needed to energise you and bring essential joy to your day. When you hear that voice telling you that you shouldn't do it, that's precisely when you need it most—even if it's just for ten minutes. Why wouldn't you invest ten minutes to get back a return of hours?

Enjoy it.

This sounds obvious, but it's far from it.

It took me considerable time to allow myself to fully sink into and enjoy my new routine without rushing. I would constantly hear my critic's voice urging me to hurry up and finish quicker so I could feel "productive."

Now, I genuinely look forward to my morning ritual, especially because I know it's not guaranteed. Some days, earlier school commitments, workshops, or unexpected circumstances prevent these mornings from unfolding as planned.

Some days, I get it all in, and some days, I can squeeze twenty minutes together, but at least it’s something.

So when I do have this luxury, I savour every second because I understand how deeply nourishing it is. If you're constantly racing through your weeks toward some finish line, it's a clear sign that something needs to change.

Practising unconditional friendliness toward yourself and cultivating a kind mind can help you navigate this initial discomfort. Remember: if you can't be the architect of your days, no one else will do it for you.

Final thoughts.

Rather than focusing on scheduling your days simply to get through them, reframe your approach to designing your life.

Ask yourself: what would need to happen for you to feel more energised, happier, and less anxious?

Your initial responses might default to external factors like "more money" or "less work," but within your current reality, where can you start to carve out pockets of time to create the lifestyle and headspace you want?

It doesn't need to be two hours; it can be ten minutes. Maybe ten minutes to meditate, journal, stretch, do some yoga poses, or sit outside with a cup of coffee and recalibrate.

How you schedule your day is how you spend your life. If you're merely looking to get through it, ask yourself: do you truly just want to get through your life?

The mental shift begins with giving yourself permission to be kind to yourself and embrace these so-called "indulgences." Not to be bleak, but if you suddenly discovered that you had limited time left, how would you view your days then?

Would you force yourself to work through more emails or start work the moment you wake up? Or would you give yourself space to truly connect with yourself so you can show up as your best self? Even if it’s for twenty minutes?

There's no reason to wait. Be the architect of your life, not the manager of your minutes.

Here's to more joy by design,

Warm wishes,

Lori