How to Become the Best Version of Yourself.

Becoming the best version of yourself is not about fixing yourself but consistently upgrading yourself.

Think about a product like the Apple iPhone that launched in 2007. For 15 years, Apple has consistently looked for ways to improve and upgrade its product. They don't toss out the entire operating system and start every new version from scratch; they merely improve upon it by making constant refinements over time.

If Apple were complacent and never made continuous improvements, you would switch brands because the Apple 6 would no longer be relevant today. There is too much competition, and complacency will cost you customers.

How does this relate to you?

In this world of obsessive self-improvement, you do not need to create a new version of yourself from scratch but make a conscious decision to make the necessary adjustments and tweaks over time to stay relevant.

Continuous refinement is not only about staying relevant with technical skills from a career perspective but upgrading your operating system with new beliefs, thoughts and experiences.

Your upgrades occur through action, even if it is the wrong action and downright failure. Even Apple made errors, but these were valuable feedback to keep moving forward.

How can you begin this process to become the best version of yourself? Here are seven ways to begin:

Reflect on who you used to be.

To appreciate your growth, you need to recognise how far you have come. Are you the same person you were five years ago? Probably not.

You are so caught up in the day to day grind and looking ahead to the future that this crucial step of recognising your growth is often missed.

 Spend some time journaling about the following questions:

·      What actions do I take now that used to scare me?

·      What do I say no to that I previously said yes to?

·      What habits have I outgrown that used to hold me back?

·      What do I know now that I could pass on to my 20-year-old self?

I would tell my twenty-year-old self, 'Stop trying to control the external world; you are only creating anxiety with your thinking. Focus on the things within your control and take action one micro win at a time.'

The truth is that my twenty-year-old self would never have believed me. She had to find out the hard way, but through experience, I have been shaped into the person I am today.

By reflecting on the previous versions of myself, I can recognise how far I have come. I have replaced the need to control my external world with faith, gratitude and deliberate action.

Find something new that scares you.

The secret to constant improvement is to keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone because it is on the border of fear and the unknown that true growth happens.

Don't wait for life's unexpected challenges to prove how strong you are. Be proactive and take charge of your development to make the necessary upgrades. You want growth to be a choice, not a consequence of reacting to situations beyond your control.

It can be as simple as learning a skill that intimidates you, starting a new hobby or even taking the leap of faith in yourself and applying for the role you want but have convinced yourself you are not ready for.

There's a fundamental difference between upgrading your knowledge for skill refinement and hiding behind another book or course to permit you to leap into the unknown.

When you deliberately place yourself outside of your comfort zone, you develop your courage muscles – a feature worth investing in!

Tony Robbins, author and personal development expert, says:

‘The quality of your life is directly proportional to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably manage’.

The unknown is always scary at first, but these experiences are critical to becoming the best version of yourself. Once you've done it, it is evidence that you can repeat it.

Give yourself permission.

Don't confuse becoming the best version of yourself with the need to fix yourself. You aren't broken.

Self-doubt comes standard with the human operating system; it is debatable whether it's a bug or a feature.

Despite the self-doubt, you need to give yourself permission to move out of your comfort zone and take action on your goals and dreams. When you adopt the mindset of needing fixing, you will never allow yourself to take the leap of faith.

The safety blanket of a permission device begins to hold you back even though you are more than ready. Permission devices come in many forms, including a degree, a course, a bank balance, a number on the scale or even a partner.

You don't need another degree to give you permission to start a business, pursue another career or even take up a new hobby. Do it anyway.

You become the best version of yourself through experience. You can't read your way through the discomfort of addressing a large audience. Your action teaches you that the situation was way worse in your imagination than in reality. Now that you know it, you can do it again and this time enjoy it.

Be open to changing your mind.

Becoming the best version of yourself is a solo sport. You cannot compare yourself to other people because no one has experienced your journey. It doesn't matter what someone else has achieved; it is how you have evolved.

To step into the best version of yourself, you need to upgrade your thinking. Throughout life, you make key decisions in life-changing moments that impact the trajectory of your decisions today.

If you take a step back and put your world under a microscope, how has this decision shaped your reality?

Can you be honest enough to realise this decision once helped you but now holds you back?

Maybe you decided that success equals sacrifice? As a result of this belief, you are playing small and holding yourself back.

Becoming the best version of yourself requires you the freedom to change your mind. It is not being inauthentic; it is a consequence of growth and evolving as a human being through experience.

Create a compelling future vision.

“Your future should be the predictor of who you are today, not the past.” ~Benjamin Hardy.

 As much as you need to acknowledge how far you have come, you need to know how you will continue this journey to the best version of yourself.

When was the last time you did a life audit and thought about the next five to ten years? You spend hours thinking about your work but say you're too busy for reflection time when it comes to yourself.

A great starting point is asking yourself, 'what would excite me?' This approach opens up your mind to think differently. What would excite you is going to push your boundaries, but it doesn't feel scary; it feels exciting.

Another tool to create your future vision comes from Payal Kadakia, the author of Lifepass. She suggests writing down a list of words that sums up how you hope your forthcoming year will be; she calls this her Dream Words.

Your dream words act as your north star to ensure your time is spent in alignment with your goals; they sum up what you want this year to embody. Some examples include leadership, growth, strength, performance, stability, creation, friends, health, travel, personal time, etc.

What are your dream words? Write them down and have them visible daily to keep you on track and inspire you to move towards the best version of yourself.

Surround yourself with people who can handle your upgrade.

Who you choose to surround yourself with is crucial to becoming the best version of yourself. As you grow and evolve, you may find that not everyone in your inner circle supports this new version.

You haven't changed as a person, but your standards have increased, and what you want for your life has shifted. Your continuous improvements may leave some people feeling uncomfortable. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

Choosing who you share your goals with is important because sometimes people pull you down. After all, you are a reminder of what they have not accomplished, and you threaten them.

Your parents may deter you from big goals and new challenges with the positive intent to keep you safe. It does not come from a place of malice but their way to protect you. In this case, set boundaries and rather don't discuss these sorts of goals with them. If they ask you about it, keep the conversation short or change the topic.

You need to create your special R&D team to help you with the tweaks and refinements. Who can you surround yourself with to keep you focused and lift you up on the tough days?

Follow your curiosity.

‘Respond to every call that excites your spirit’— Rumi

Most people think they need to follow their passion for becoming the best version of themselves. How about replacing following your passion with following your curiosity? You may be passionate about music, but this doesn't necessarily need to become your full-time work.

When you follow the breadcrumbs of your curiosity, you are walking down the path in wonder and interest with a lightness in your heart. There is no pressure to make the right decision; you are having fun exploring.

When you are curious, you no longer attach to the outcome. I did an online course about journaling which has nothing to do with my daily work but is only for personal enjoyment. The practice of journaling is instrumental to my journey to the best version of me; my best insights come in this quiet conversation between my thoughts and the page.

You can accumulate a bespoke skillset for your life toolbox when you are curious. I am deeply curious about why some people show up to themselves and some self-sabotage and move further away from their goals or let fear paralyse them.

This question leads me to read books about habits, emotional mastery and even become a master life coach. I would never have predicted this path which is the greatest reward. Simply following what I'm curious about allowed me to enjoy the process of self-discovery.

When you can replace judgement with curiosity, you fast-track your growth to the best version of yourself.

The ultimate reward.

As Apple continues to improve and refine their product, you may have noticed the cost increases. Again, it is the same with you.

The more you improve your operating system and upgrade your features, the more valuable you become to yourself and others through your wisdom, growth and experience.

A funny thing happens, as you consistently expand your views and add new experiences, you arrive at a place of genuine self-belief.

There is no precise moment where you can pinpoint it, but this continuous development process enables you to create the ultimate feature - to feel comfortable in your skin.

Your experience has taught you that there is nothing you cannot achieve. Self-doubt is still a standard feature, but you have learnt to turn off the notifications and take the next leap regardless.

To become the best version of yourself, take these steps:

·      Reflect on who you used to be.

·      Find something new that scares you.

·      Give yourself permission.

·      Be open to changing your mind.

·      Create a compelling future vision.

·      Surround yourself with people who can handle your upgrade.

·      Follow your curiosity.

Here's to you,

Warm wishes,

Lori