Leadership as a Lifestyle: Small Choices, Big Impact.
Self-care is not a once-off event. We don’t go to the gym for twenty minutes and expect lifelong fitness. We don’t replace a packet of chips with fruit for a day or two and undo years of poor choices.
Self-care is a lifestyle. It’s about the moments in between — the choices that seem small but compound into big results. It’s the planning, the discipline, the quiet commitment to sleep, mindfulness, and intentional pauses.
Leadership is the same. It isn’t a title or the act of telling people what to do. It’s not something you switch on at 9 a.m. and off at 5 p.m. Leadership is a lifestyle. It shows up in how you live your life, the choices you make, and the way others experience you — not only in big meetings, but in every micro-interaction.
As Simon Sinek reminds us: “Leadership is not about being in charge. It’s about taking care of those in your charge.”
So how do you live leadership as a lifestyle?
Leadership is Emotional, Not Positional.
Leadership is not about degrees, certifications, or how much you know. It’s not rooted in IQ. True leadership lives in EQ — your ability to connect, to listen, and to be fully present.
In my workshops, when I ask people to describe the best leader they’ve ever had, the answers are strikingly consistent:
They saw potential in me that I couldn’t see in myself.
They backed me when I didn’t have the confidence.
They made me feel heard.
They noticed when something was off and checked in.
They encouraged my input before offering solutions.
They stayed calm in a crisis.
They brought positive energy into the room.
Notice the pattern? None of these were grand, once-off heroic gestures. They were small, intentional choices, repeated consistently — the kind that quietly compound into trust.
Now, think about your own team. Who has untapped potential that hasn’t yet been voiced? Who might be fading into the background, waiting to be seen and heard? And what energy do you bring into the room? Remember, anxiety is contagious — but so is calm.
Here are some additional everyday choices you can begin weaving into your leadership to make it a true lifestyle:
The Power of the Pause.
I once worked with a leader who admitted, “I don’t have EQ. I’m too direct. People always take me the wrong way.”
Instead of overhauling everything, we worked on one micro-habit: the pause. Before sending the sharp email, before reacting to a mistake, before blurting out frustration — pause.
That single habit transformed how people experienced him. His team no longer braced when he walked into the room. They leaned in. He was the same person, but the pause gave him presence — and the ability to ensure his intention landed with the attention it deserved.
Celebrate the Win Now, Not Later.
Another client led her team to a huge success. When I asked if she celebrated with them, she shook her head. She was waiting for gifts to arrive so she could do something special.
The gifts arrived two weeks later. By then, the moment was gone.
It wasn’t intentional — she cared deeply about her team. But she learned that recognition delayed is recognition denied. People want to feel seen when the work is still fresh, when the long hours and tough calls are still in the body.
Now, she sends a message of gratitude or gathers the team in the moment, and if the gifts arrive later, that’s simply a bonus.
Creating Safety in the Storm.
Think about the last time someone on your team made a mistake. Did you lose your temper and only circle back later to repair the damage? Or did you pause in the moment, thank them for their honesty, and work together on a way forward?
Trust is rarely built when everything is going well — it’s built in the storm. How you show up under pressure reveals your true character and determines whether trust is strengthened or eroded.
Amy Edmondson calls this The Zone of Psychological Safety. When people feel safe, they own their errors, share their ideas, and innovate. When they don’t, silence takes over — and silence is costly.
Be Real, So They Can Be Real.
One of the most powerful shifts I’ve seen in leaders is when they allow themselves to be human. It doesn’t always mean sharing your deepest struggles — often it’s as simple as admitting you don’t have all the answers, owning up when you’ve made a mistake, or acknowledging that something was tough for you too.
These small moments of honesty don’t weaken your authority — they strengthen it. They show your team it’s safe to be real, safe to try, and safe to learn. And when people feel that safety, connection grows. And connection is the true currency of leadership.
Replacing Judgment with Curiosity.
It’s easy to make assumptions. The late arrival must not care. The missed deadline must mean laziness. But assumptions breed resentment.
Curiosity opens the door.
Try: “Help me understand…” “Help me understand what’s making it hard to meet this deadline.” “Help me understand what’s getting in the way of you being on time.”
This one phrase has dissolved more tension than any policy or performance review I’ve ever seen.
The Daily Question.
At its heart, leadership as a lifestyle is about asking yourself, moment by moment: “Am I building trust right now, or am I dissolving it?”
Because leadership is not something you do occasionally, it’s who you are all the time.
And when you live it as a lifestyle, people don’t just remember what you achieved. They remember how you made them feel.
Here's to micro choices with macro impact,
Warm wishes,
Lori