The Best Ever Solution for Self-Discipline.

What's one trait you lack that would impact where you are now and where you want to be?

The answer that comes up consistently in my workshops is self-discipline.

The myth is that self-discipline comes first; we must develop the self-discipline muscle to progress on our long-forgotten resolutions.

What if you've been looking in the wrong place all this time?

The key to mastering self-discipline is building your courage muscle.

Self-discipline is courage.

The real courage is to choose yourself. Once you make this decision, everything else in your life changes.

Choosing yourself means you no longer use other people to motivate you to do what you 'should' be doing.

Choosing yourself means you are worthy enough to take action on what matters and schedule yourself in the calendar with zero guilt. Once you choose yourself, you have the courage to:

· Accept yourself unconditionally.

· Set boundaries.

· Keep the promises you make to yourself.

· Challenge the inner critic.

· Be kind to yourself.

· Put yourself first.

· Know you are enough.

Accept yourself unconditionally.

We tend to tie our self-worth to numbers and then attach meaning to it. When you stand on the scale, what's the meaning you give the number? This is followed by internal negotiation – when the number says x, I am enough, or I will start this hobby.

Or you tie your self-worth to the number of followers, friends, and number in the bank account.

Self-discipline is created by accepting yourself now – as you are today without needing to do anything to earn it.

Accepting yourself unconditionally means you can start anytime you are ready; your success is not tied to a 'someday when' ultimatum. If you constantly feel behind on where you should be, no wonder you lose the motivation to start or continue.

When you accept yourself unconditionally, you can celebrate your progress, no matter how small.

Even more important, when you dare to accept yourself, you can have self-compassion for the times you do fall off the wagon. The next time you procrastinate, ditch the run or have the cake you didn't want to have – it's OK. Adopt a learning mindset and replace shame with curiosity. What triggered you? Were you stressed, sad, or angry?

Rather than tell yourself you have no self-discipline and give up, ensure the next choice is better.

Set boundaries.

To practice self-discipline, there is a basic requirement – a block of time allocated for you.

Before taking that first step, have you scheduled and protected this time for yourself?

Do you have the courage to say no when someone wants a block of your allocated time?

Do you have the courage to schedule yourself in the calendar and treat it with equal importance as anyone else?

When you choose yourself, you make a visual declaration that you matter and are worthy of making time for yourself.

Keep the promises you make to yourself.

Your confidence is directly proportional to the promises you keep to yourself. When you choose yourself as the reason why you want to make a change, it becomes sustainable to keep those promises.

If you're trying to please someone else, the self-discipline to do the hard thing withers away, especially when you don't feel like it.

You can't force yourself to be worthy. Keeping your promises is an act of treating yourself as worthy.

Keeping your promises builds the muscles of not only courage but self-trust. When you can generate this confidence capital through self-care, you can invest it in other areas of your life.

Challenge the inner critic.

Self-discipline is the courage to challenge your inner critic. Your mind is designed for protection, not to make you happy. When you wake up earlier than normal, your mind will find every excuse to keep you safe and in bed, like it's cold or early and you deserve to lie in.

The inner critic isn't acting from kindness but sabotage. Can you find the courage to challenge it when you need it most?

Practice if/then planning; if the inner critic tells me to snooze for another ten minutes, then I will tell myself – I'm the kind of person who can do hard things and get up and take action.

You don't lack self-discipline; you lack the courage to prove your inner critic wrong.

Be kind to yourself.

Self-discipline is permission to do something important for yourself. To be kind to yourself means another level of self-love. When you want to stay up another hour scrolling the socials instead of getting an early night, tell yourself – I love you too much to deprive you of sleep.

What would you do if I gave you a day off to spend on something you love?

Would you spend time in the garden, read, bake or go to the spa?

You don't need self-discipline to follow through on these things; you need to be kinder to yourself.

We think of self-discipline as always acting on something, but sometimes you need the self-discipline to rest when you are sick or exhausted.

Do you have the courage and kindness to give yourself rest and recovery time rather than pushing yourself to the limit?

When you are kinder to yourself, you don't need illness to give you permission to nurture yourself.

Put yourself first.

Did you plan on getting up for a walk but then innocently check your phone first? The flood of emails and messages triggered overwhelm, anxiety and the need to ditch yourself over their perceived urgencies.

Self-discipline is the courage to put yourself first. It's making progress on your tasks so you don't land up working all-nighters and triggering more stress for yourself.

Once you are ahead of your deliverables, you create more energy to help others and add value.

Know you are enough.

It's one thing to have the courage to say no, but it takes another level of courage to believe you are enough. Today. Now. Without having to do anything extra to earn it.

If I ask what you fear most, you may say fear of failure, success, being judged or not being perfect. Underneath that façade is the deepest fear that you are not enough. We all experience this, from billionaires to everyone in between.

How does this relate to self-discipline?

When you know you are enough, it gives you the permission to: