The Real Reason You're Stuck: It's Not Time Management, It's Trust.

Picture a documentary crew following you through a typical workweek. What story would unfold on screen?

Perhaps they'd capture you diligently checking off tasks, only to end each day with a gnawing frustration. Despite your busyness, that one crucial project - the one that could truly move the needle - remains untouched while smaller tasks consume your hours.

Or the morning scene would reveal a familiar struggle: the repeated tap of the snooze button, the gradual evaporation of your planned morning walk, all cascading into a rushed and chaotic start that leaves everyone at home on edge.

Later, the cameras might find you hunched over your desk, caught in the spiral of analysis paralysis. Your presentation deck is nearly complete, yet uncertainty keeps you adding "just one more slide." Your boss, though experienced and willing to help, remains unconsulted - the fear of appearing inadequate keeps you in a silent struggle.

Do these scenes resonate? While they may not represent every week, these moments likely feel painfully familiar. Here's the surprising truth: time isn't actually the problem. You have enough of it. What's really at play is a deeper issue - trust.

Behind the procrastination, self-forgetting, and endless refinements lies an unrelenting need for control—not over others but over certainty itself—the outcomes, the perceptions, and the potential for vulnerability. It's a shield against feeling powerless, but one that often leaves you feeling more overwhelmed than protected.

Let's explore three ways to rebuild trust - with yourself, with the process and extending trust to others - so you can transform from the victim of your calendar to the architect of your days:

Trust yourself.

Procrastination is largely a result of self-doubt, meaning you are not inherently trusting in yourself and your abilities despite your track record of success.

Are you focusing on the one time you made a bad judgement call or even failed at something, and now making that experience the benchmark anytime you want to stretch yourself?

If you cannot trust in yourself, you will look to others to constantly validate you, leaving you feeling that you are not enough because not everyone will give you praise and recognition in the ways you want it all the time.

If you don't trust in yourself, no amount of information will ever give you the certainty and comfort you need to take action, which is why you may have many unfinished tasks or projects.

Internalise your wins.

Rather than focusing on what you haven't yet achieved, take a moment to appreciate everything you have achieved and accomplished rather than constantly moving on to the next goal.

Choose to feel content with where you are now, considering the obstacles you had to face along the way. Even if you've been through a lot, how are you more resilient, self-aware, and even compassionate as a result?

If you had to ask your twenty-year-old self what they would say about where you are today, they would be astounded. Can you see yourself through the same eyes of awe as this younger version of you?

When you can internalise this into your identity, this is who you are. You have the evidence to show that you can trust yourself even when the external circumstances aren't perfect and that you have what it takes.

Connect to your inner coach.

Building self-trust means being kind to yourself and speaking nicely to yourself. That voice in your head is the narrator of your day and begins the moment you wake up. What are you telling yourself?

When faced with a challenge, do you tell yourself you're not enough and cannot do it, or can you start to tell yourself that you got this and that you always make a plan?

Connecting to your inner coach rather than your inner critic is not just about reflecting on the past but also about building trust as you navigate your day. If you make a mistake, develop a 'kind-mind' approach, forgive yourself, and then deconstruct the situation to see what you could have done differently and what you have learnt.

Your inner coach will be nonjudgemental and compassionate. When you can show yourself it's OK to make mistakes or fall off the wagon once in a while with no harsh repercussions from yourself, you will start to be gentler with yourself.

If you don't trust yourself and if you don't back yourself, it isn't easy to expect others to.

Trust the process.

Trusting the process is another starting point for developing self-trust because it may take some time to reprogram your mindset toward yourself.

Although trust in the process is a cliché, it is true for a reason.

Let's say you want to lose weight, but you tell yourself it never works, and you've tried everything. Now, trusting yourself is a scary place to be because you don't believe you will reach your ultimate goal.

Where do we go from here? Trusting the process means having a professional plan or key action steps you can commit to because this is where your certainty comes from.

Whether you exercise for ten minutes, take a few mindful breaths, read a few pages, or even journal two sentences, you are creating the habit of keeping the promises you make to yourself.

When you take action, you create a micro-win. It's the smallest step forward towards your goal. You are showing yourself that even if you don't feel like it, you still do it, and you can trust yourself.

Trusting the process means shutting down the volume of your inner critic, who's trying to sabotage you and tell you it never works, and focusing on the next right action.

It's trusting that when you consistently show up to the micro win, you will see results over time. You stop trusting the process when you expect results sooner than they would realistically materialise and then give up. This is typical of weight loss—if you let go of needing to feel like doing the action in question and just do it, you will start to see the shifts you want.

If you keep showing up to the micro win, there is a tipping point at which you start to feel stronger, fitter, leaner, less emotionally reactive, and more confident.

Discipline is freedom; trust in the plan and the process and keep showing up to the right action. Trusting the process involves a series of micro choices throughout the day, so if you didn't make a great choice in the morning, rather than ditching the entire day, make sure the next choice is a better one.

Trusting the process enables you to trust yourself, and when you have both, you are unstoppable.

Trust in others.

When I discuss trust with my clients, I get mixed reactions. Some people have built such high walls around themselves that they cannot let anyone in.

We have all had painful experiences where someone broke our trust, but making a key decision never to trust again is a recipe for sadness.

I always speak of intention versus impact. Your intention in building high walls is to protect yourself and prevent anyone from hurting you again.

The impact is that you are equally not letting in any opportunities for love or new friendships.

When your focus is on locking out, you forget to let in.

Perhaps you are in a loving relationship and have wonderful friendships, yet you struggle with delegation and trust in a professional environment.

What would it look like for you to begin to extend trust to others?

When you delegate, even a small project or task, you are communicating that you are willing to extend trust, which not only grows a person's confidence but also allows them the opportunity to grow in their role.

Another form of extending trust to others is asking for help or even guidance.

Rather than struggle with a piece of work on your own because you don't trust others not to judge you, it will only leave you frustrated and overwhelmed and probably in a spiral of procrastination and analysis paralysis.

Trust is a huge topic, so ask yourself how you can begin to extend it in small ways. Can you invite feedback from someone or ask how they would solve a particular problem?

Can you leave your desk to join the team for lunch or a coffee rather than feel it's a waste of time? When you start to value connection, you start to value the gifts you can receive and eventually give to others.

One client was so closed and undervalued connection to such an extent that his starting point was to ask his colleagues about their weekend on a Monday. Rather than only value the task, he had to learn to value relationships and people.

When you don't trust in yourself and the process, extend trust to others because you will be astounded at how many people care and how happy they are to help you when you need it.

Final thoughts.

The next time you hear yourself saying that you don't have time, ask yourself these questions:

·Am I trusting myself?

·Am I trusting the process?

·Am I extending trust to others?

If it's trust in yourself, acknowledge your wins and connect to your inner coach.

If it's trusting the process, decide the next smallest step you can take to create your micro win.

If it's trusting others, who can you reach out to and share what's on your mind, or who can you invite feedback from to help you value the wisdom in others?

Here's to trusting, not trying.

Warm wishes,

Lori